Self Belief

Self Belief

Self Belief

What is self beleive and why do we need it?

We demonstrate the confidence and self belief we have in ourselves in a number of ways; our behaviour, our mood and even how we carry ourselves. It’s common for individuals who lack self-belief and self-confidence to find certain areas of their life affected.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

Examine your strengths, limitations and the reality of your situation honestly every day. Some days you won’t believe in yourself, and that’s OK. But if you can unpack and see where that temporary disbelief is rooted, you’ll identify what’s needed to move forward.

Moving forward ultimately leads to success, nothing more

That’s right, self belief in yourself is a choice. It is an attitude you develop over time. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite any problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself.

The thing about confidence is that you get it by doing things over and over again. And while I’m not going to pretend everyone you come into contact with will be lovely and supportive if you ask for help, most people love helping others because it makes them feel good.

Always celebrate your successes and encourage yourself when you face setbacks. Building confidence does not happen overnight; it takes time for your brain to be convinced of the compliments you give yourself. Speaking comments out loud while you look back at your image in the mirror can help as it is you actually talking to yourself helps build self confidence.

You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. I learned to recognize negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would be on the lookout for these. When I caught one, I would stop it and squash it, question it then replace it with a positive one.

Contact me today for a free consultation 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Why come to see a therapist?

Why Come to See A Therapist

Why come and see a therapist? Taking care of your mental health is an important step in caring for yourself as a whole. Stress, anxiety, depression, addictions, and more can all affect your day-to-day life; seeing a therapist can help you form healthy coping tactics that can improve your quality of life. In some cases, symptoms can be indicators of larger problems, and a therapist can offer insight into what may be causing them.

Therapy used to have the stigma that it was only for seriously “messed up” people. And though some of those feelings still exist, the stereotype is slowly being left behind.

Why come and see a therapist? Many people find that therapy also provides some unexpected benefits. When they leave, they realize they’ve gotten more than they bargained for—sort of a bonus for engaging in the experience.

The main objective is helping people relieve their symptoms and underlying issues. But if they can resolve their problem while becoming better listeners and empathizers with an ability to discuss deep issues in a way that positively impacts their inner circle, what’s the problem?

Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

Rather than seeking out therapy (men?), people will convince themselves that everything is fine. They tell themselves their sadness, worry, irritability, sleeping problems, high stress, and physical tension will dissipate independently.

The real courage comes from identifying the need for treatment and sharing this need with trusted people in your life. Shouting your symptoms across every social media platform isn’t necessary or helpful — you only have to admit the truth to yourself.

Contact me today for a free consultation 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy


Taking The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

Taking The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

So what do I mean by the title of this blog “Taking The Anxiety Out Of Therapy”?

I believe that is a lot of uncertainty when seeking help from a therapist.

I see clients all the time who come to see me with a lot of anticipation of what’s going to happen and generally the whole therapy process / experience.  There is still a stigma attached to seeking help in the UK where people consider themselves weak for asking for help.

Anxiety in the UK and world wide is at a all time high. I beleieve about 60% of my clients come to me asking for help with anxiety or panic attacks that why I want to help taking the anxiety out of therapy.

NHS information on Anxiety

https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/anxiety

I also believe this sigma is incorrect in fact in my opinion it takes a great deal of strength to realise you need help and to make that call to someone like myself and why I intend to help as many people as I can.

I think therapy should in most cases be like talking to an old friend where the client feels relaxed, at ease and most of all understood and listened to!

I also work in a way that incorporates humour where appropriate and make it fun, as a therapist I find this greatly improves the session for myself and the client.

I take away all the mystery and big so called intelligent words and talk and explain everything in a down to earth manner just like I would expect if I were a client.

I’m committed to taking the anxiety out of therapy !

Contact me today for a free consultation 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy Coventry


Secondary Gain

Secondary Gain

Secondary gains are the “benefits” people get from NOT overcoming a problem. For many people who are stuck, secondary gains are an important mechanism in why they stay stuck. Secondary gain is usually not something people are consciously aware of e.g. generally the person is not being consciously manipulative or faking (the distress/impairment is still real).

When a client is asked what secondary gain they have by hanging on to their illness or negative behavior they are often oblivious to how their terrible struggle with the illness or behavior could benefit them in any way. In other words, they are not consciously refusing to change. Once a secondary gain is identified and brought to the conscious level it can be very insightful and life changing.

Take a moment and consider a change in your life you have repeatedly addressed with minimal progress. Challenge yourself to acknowledge how the unhealthy behavior or habit benefits you. What would you potentially lose by creating change in your life?

Sometimes the client will have no idea as to why the habit continues. It has gone unconscious become a habit an autopilot response and gone in to that part of our old brain that is concerned with survival.

Our subconscious mind or at least at part of it does seem to have a limited intelligence. This part is often called our inner child, by some. At this level of mind decisions are made that effect our lives, sometimes in huge ways.

How do we figure out whether we have secondary gain issues?

Be honest, very honest with yourself when answering this question – Am I standing in my own way? If you are getting an emotional reaction while reading this (anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow, or a sense of loss), it is very likely that your secondary gain issue is coming up.

Address it now. Remove it from your nonconscious mind remembering that your hidden mind does not want to give it up without a fight. Bring your secondary gain into your conscious mind by writing it down, journaling about it, making an audio or video recording of it, or talking to a therapist or a life coach about so that you are free to move on.

Contact me for a free consultation 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Addiction

Addiction

 Addiction is a big subject with so much information and opinions out there that I am going to glide over it because it impossible for me to go to in-depth without baffling or boring you.

The most common addiction I see are smoking, alcohol, food, drugs and gambling. I’m am not allowed to treat alcoholics/drugs takers without their doctors permission but I do get people who want to control or stop their intake more before it becomes a problem.

Why do people get addicted?

In my experience it is because they are trying to replace something they have lost or never had in their life. Look at some of the fallen stars in the world; they are replacing all the fame and attention. They need a buzz. The latest research is saying that the brain of addicts does not produce enough dopamine and the substance that the addict is using i.e. drugs bridges that gap in the chemical imbalance.

There are people trying to forget a past event or events in life. People who have suffered abuse or have had a horrible childhood for example because it blocks the memories coming through, others have never felt worthy or love.

There are people who have addictive personalities who try something and find hard to stop. Some people hit the self-destruct button and will find anything to do.

The thing that is common is that they can hide the addiction very well to the point even the close family won’t know, they can become very deceptive and defensive if they suspect anyone knows. It’s well known that alcoholics will hide the bottles of booze around the house and even in the garden.

I want to tell you about a good friend of mine in fact he was my best friend for many years. I knew Craig most of my life, we lived a street apart, attended the same school and knew a lot of the same people. Craig and I became firm friends when we met again at a local social club when I was 16-17 and from then were like brothers in arms. I never saw Craig as having a problem; we went out most nights for 3 or 4 pints and a game of snooker for many years until we started working shifts, yes in the same factory. So we worked, drank and socialized together. Craig was always a bit of a lad, he did nothing bad but liked a joint and a drink which at the time I also took part in, a decision I now regret deeply. He always seemed to push it more than anyone else, for example last orders at the bar he would order 2 pints and chasers where as I would maybe have a pint. He smoked the strongest cannabis he could get, I never really used to smoke it on my own only with friends but Craig smoked every day. Craig got married to a lovely girl and bought a house, they had a beautiful daughter Chloe whom he adored. All this time his drinking was getting worse. He would drink Rum/Vodka and strong Cider. No one ever suspected it was becoming a problem with the exception of this then wife.

The car factory where we worked closed and we were all made redundant and Craig hit the self-destruct button and his drinking got so bad that the marriage broke down and he moved out. He drank until he couldn’t feel any more pain, the marriage break up hurt him but it was his drinking that caused it. He was in complete denial about everything. Over the next couple of years Craig carried on drinking causing him to be admitted to hospital of many occasions for detox then coming out a straight back on the drink. I tried to help and so did many others, in the end I found myself having no choice but to distance myself from him. I just couldn’t watch him kill himself, I did sit down and tell him this but again because of the drink I don’t think he could remember me doing this.

Craig died.

Sat here now a good few years or so after his death I still miss my mate and yes I have tears in my eyes writing this.

I did not have the skills and knowledge I have now or I would have tried to help and get him through it.

Addition has touched me and Craig’s family in a way I hope it never does for you.

If you feel something in your life is getting out of hand or you need a little help please get in touch and always consult with your doctor. Taking the first step to getting help is an important one, and then the real work begins, the WHY? It will be a hard and often emotional time but it is part of the healing process and without it, it will be hard to move on in life.

Please contact me HERE for your free consultation or call 024 75098634 for further information on addiction.

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Comfort Eating

Comfort Eating

Comfort eating can be a problem to some people who are trying to reduce their waist lines.

The problem is it can be a very hard cycle to break with very deep underlying reasons for the behaviour that needs to be addressed or it can continue.

Have you ever found yourself eating treats even when you are not hungry?

Or just eating far too much without wanting to stop?

Have you ever hidden food or been a secret eater?

At the time this can make you feel good, some people even get a buzz from what is an out of control feeling. So why would people like the feeling of being out of control? I have found that most people live a normal life are can control other aspects of their lives perfectly well but not their eating. The main problem is they are after a quick fix or lift in mood bought on by the sugar rush from the food. As a general rule, calories are not our enemy. The fat stored in our bodies does not come from ingesting more calories, it comes entirely from eating foods rich in sugars and carbohydrates which score high on the Glycemic Index.

So let’s look at sugar a little closer.

Simple sugars are just a few molecules of sugar molecules strung together. Sugar is in a lot of things and can affect us in many different ways.
Complex carbohydrates a many hundreds of different sugar molecules strung together
Starches – the most sugar molecules strung together
Simple sugars are lowest on the GI, Complex next, starches highest – all are however high on the GI
Carbohydrates are just long chain sugar molecules and are not necessary for human life
Saccharides is another word for carbohydrates
Carbohydrates are an immediate source of energy – useful for immediate needs in sports
Average human stores 1500g glycogen enough to run around 20miles
Fruits are best for providing the quick bursts of energy we may require such as for sport.

The problem arises normally after eating such foods. At the time of eat we often justify it or just eat and worry about it later. The thing is later comes all too soon! People can have feelings such as guilt, embarrassment, shame, low self-esteem to name a few. These feeling are worth looking at, at a deeper level with a professional therapist who will help you to explore them and understand them in a much fuller way. It is only when we look at these issues that people normal can address them and move on properly with a greater knowledge and understanding of themselves and their behaviors.

The cycle goes feel bad, eat to feel better, feel better, feel bad about eating, eat to feel better again. The thing is the feeling better will only last a very short time whereas the negative emotions can last a long time.

It can often be linked to low self-confidence and esteem or sometime to food being a comfort at an early age during difficult times in their life. For some clients I’ve seen they have said it was the one thing that never let them down and was always there for them. They had very strong associations with food and comfort eating. Food was their drug of choice.

The thing to start to thinking about is that once the negative associations are broken then food can still be enjoyed but they can cope with life in a much more positive way and yes still enjoy a treat !

Contact me for a free consultation 024 75098634 or click HERE.

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Hypnotherapy for IBS

Hypnotherapy for IBS

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common condition of the digestive system. IBS affects up to 22% of people in the UK and is the most common functional digestive disorder however hypnotherapy for IBS can help !

So what causes IBS?

Well psychological factors such as stress may play a part in IBS and I’ve seen people recover quickly form IBS with the help of hypnotherapy. When the body is under stress it can come out in all sorts of symptoms from mental health issues to physical symptoms.

Hypnotherapy can help you break the cycle of pain and anxiety related to IBS, and has done so for thousands of people. Hypnotherapy is now acknowledged within the wider medical profession as an evidenced-based therapy that can help reduce the symptoms of IBS, and sometimes alleviate those symptoms entirely.

Dr Valori, of Gloucestershire Royal Hospital, said the research evidence which shows that hypnotherapy could help sufferers of IBS was first published in the 1980s. Dr Roland Valori, editor of Frontline Gastroenterology, said of the first 100 of his patients treated, symptoms improved significantly for nine in 10. He audited the first 100 cases he referred for hypnotherapy and found that the symptoms stopped completely in four in ten cases with typical IBS. He says in a further five in 10 cases patients reported feeling more in control of their symptoms and were therefore much less troubled by them.

University of Manchester, Manchester, United Kingdom.

“There is now good evidence that hypnotherapy benefits a substantial proportion of patients with irritable bowel syndrome and that improvement is maintained for many years. Most patients seen in secondary care with this condition also suffer from a wide range of noncolonic symptoms such as backache and lethargy, as well as a number of musculoskeletal, urological, and gynaecological problems. These features do not typically respond well to conventional medical treatment approaches, but fortunately, their intensity is often reduced by hypnosis.

The mechanisms by which hypnosis mediates its benefit are not entirely clear, but there is evidence that, in addition to its psychological effects, it can modulate gastrointestinal physiology, alter the central processing of noxious stimuli, and even influence immune function.”

Link to Study
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18501263?ordinalpos=2&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DefaultReportPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum

For more inforation on how I can help you with Hypnotherapy for IBS contact me on 024 75098634 or click HERE

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy


The Last Resort

The Last Resort

I often hear from new client that hypnotherapy is the last resort and that they have tried everything else until someone mentioned ringing a hypnotherapist because they or someone they know has been to see one and it worked on that issue.

So why is hypnotherapy seen by the general public as a last resort?

I believe it’s because they are afraid we can take over their minds, there are a lot of myths and hearsay out there that just isn’t based on any truth.

They may have seen a stage hypnosis show and think that is what happens and they may be made to feel silly. I for one love watching a good stage hypnosis show and have some good friends who are great stage hypnotist but who are equally good therapists as well. My friends do the show and I know for a fact they get therapy work from those show. The shows are more about show what the human mind is capable of and having a little fun along the way. I believe that the stage shows are a good thing as long as they are done correctly which I know all my friends do and do to a very high standard.

I like to see a client after the first session to see what difference it has made, normally there has been a mental unconscious shift to allow the client to gain more control in that area of their life that wanted the help with. Some clients it can be a very subtle change but one they have noticed between sessions or others they come in and say that they can’t believe the difference one or two sessions has made to their life.

The modern hypnotherapist has moved on from some of the public perception of swinging pocket watches.  I personally study things like neurology to get a better understanding of how the human mind works and reacts to certain things. I study modern psychology to learn about behaviours and how new thinking is progressing on these matters. I like to look at new and existing idea’s, I also study from some of the people who came up with some of these idea’s years ago as I believe there is always a value to learning something new or indeed going back over things again. I certainly don’t know it all and never will, but I’m happy to continue my learning wherever that may take me.

I use all of my knowledge to help my clients get the best results for them. I’m not saying I can help 100% of the people through my door but I have a good success rate and referral rate from past clients.

For a free consultation contact me on 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions

My Quick Guide to New Years Resolutions

Did you know that only 8 percent (or maybe it’s 12 percent) of people end up accomplishing their New Years Resolutions? That means that 92 (or 88) out of 100 New Year’s Resolutions end in “in-complete” and utter failure.

The first step of this process involves a period of self-reflection and introspection. This is a very important step because it lays down the foundations for the New Year’s Resolutions you will set for the coming 12 months. These foundations are set in place when you clearly understand where you’ve come from, what you’ve done to get here, and how your life will potentially unfold in the future as a result of these experiences.

Well, now’s your chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make, and being the charitable and caring person that I am here at, I’ve decided to give you a bit of help – because since the majority of people fail to stick to their resolution, you’ll need all the help you can get.

Send an email to your future self. Seriously, do it lets you send an email to yourself in the future at a date you specify. A great way to bridge the gap between your present and future selves is to tell your future self how your current actions will benefit yourself in the future.

Keeping a diary of your progress is a useful way to help you stay on track and see how far you’ve come. Enlisting the support of friends and family by explaining what you’re trying to achieve is another good way to help you stick to your goal.

Set your goals on a number of levels:

  • First you create your “big picture” of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve.
  • Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.
  • Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.

This is why we start the process of setting goals by looking at your lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.

It’s important to understand that the intentions you set for the New Year will never be realized if you keep living at the same level as last year. New goals require a new set of habits, rituals and beliefs. These three elements in combination will help you create the momentum you need to follow through with your intentions to attain your New Year’s Resolutions. You will therefore need to make modifications on all three levels if you desire to realize concrete long-term results. And of course, the best way to begin doing this is by raising your personal standards.

I wish you the greatest of success along this journey and the very best for the year ahead!

For a free consultation contact me on 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle

The drama triangle is something I have seen time and time again in unhealthy relationships. It can be in new relationships or long term marriages however the people in it normally are not aware of it or are too scared to do anything about it.

So what is the drama triangle and how does it work?

There are 3 stances

Victim

This is someone who is “poor me!” Victims see themselves as victimized, oppressed, powerless, helpless, hopeless, dejected, and ashamed, and come across as “super-sensitive,”

Rescuers

The stance of the rescuer is “Let me help you!” Rescuers work hard to help and caretake other people, and even need to help other people to feel good about themselves, while neglecting their own needs or not taking responsibility for meeting their own needs.

Persecutors

The stance of the persecutor is “It’s all your fault!” Persecutors criticize and blame the victim, set strict limits, can be controlling, rigid, authoritative, angry and unpleasant. They keep the victim feeling oppressed through threats and bullying.

The victim will look and indeed attract a rescuer into their life. Once a relationship is formed then things are first seem great, the victim is getting the support and attention from the rescuer. The rescuer is feeling fulfilled because they are helping someone.

After time because the victim doesn’t really want to change from that stance, they want to stay a victim because they like the attention. They don’t really want to be rescued so they change into a persecutor role pushing the rescuer away by blaming them saying for example everything is their fault.
The rescuer then becomes the victim!

People in this relationship can and often do swap between roles of victim and persecutor continuing the cycle of the drama triangle.

If you are in this situation or recognise this pattern in your life or relationship it may be an idea to get some therapy so to look at a deeper level what causes you to act this way.

For a free consultation contact me on 024 75098634 or click here today.
Regards
Adam