The Last Resort

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The Last Resort

 

I often hear from new client that hypnotherapy is their last resort and that they have tried everything else until someone mentioned ringing a hypnotherapist because they or someone they know has been to see one and it worked on that issue.

So why is hypnotherapy seen by the general public as a last resort?

I believe it’s because they are afraid we can take over their minds, there are a lot of myths and hearsay out there that just isn’t based on any truth.

They may have seen a stage hypnosis show and think that is what happens and they may be made to feel silly. I for one love watching a good stage hypnosis show and have some good friends who are great stage hypnotist but who are equally good therapists as well. My friends do the show and I know for a fact they get therapy work from those show. The shows are more about show what the human mind is capable of and having a little fun along the way. I believe that the stage shows are a good thing as long as they are done correctly which I know all my friends do and do to a very high standard.

I like to see a client after the first session to see what difference it has made, normally there has been a mental unconscious shift to allow the client to gain more control in that area of their life that wanted the help with. Some clients it can be a very subtle change but one they have noticed between sessions or others they come in and say that they can’t believe the difference one or two sessions has made to their life.

The modern hypnotherapist has moved on from some of the public perception of swinging pocket watches.  I personally study things like neurology to get a better understanding of how the human mind works and reacts to certain things. I study modern psychology to learn about behaviours and how new thinking is progressing on these matters. I like to look at new and existing idea’s, I also study from some of the people who came up with some of these idea’s years ago as I believe there is always a value to learning something new or indeed going back over things again. I certainly don’t know it all and never will, but I’m happy to continue my learning wherever that may take me.

I use all of my knowledge to help my clients get the best results for them. I’m not saying I can help 100% of the people through my door but I have a good success rate and referral rate from past clients.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk / 024 76362360


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The Drama Triangle

 

The Drama Triangle

 

The drama triangle is something I have seen time and time again in unhealthy relationships. It can be in new relationships or long term marriages however the people in it normally are not aware of it or are too scared to do anything about it.

So what is the drama triangle and how does it work?

There are 3 stances

Victim

This is someone who is “poor me!” Victims see themselves as victimized, oppressed, powerless, helpless, hopeless, dejected, and ashamed, and come across as “super-sensitive,”

Rescuers

The stance of the rescuer is “Let me help you!” Rescuers work hard to help and caretake other people, and even need to help other people to feel good about themselves, while neglecting their own needs or not taking responsibility for meeting their own needs.

Persecutors

The stance of the persecutor is “It’s all your fault!” Persecutors criticize and blame the victim, set strict limits, can be controlling, rigid, authoritative, angry and unpleasant. They keep the victim feeling oppressed through threats and bullying.

 

 

The victim will look and indeed attract a rescuer into their life. Once a relationship is formed then things are first seem great, the victim is getting the support and attention from the rescuer. The rescuer is feeling fulfilled because they are helping someone.

After time because the victim doesn’t really want to change from that stance, they want to stay a victim because they like the attention. They don’t really want to be rescued so they change into a persecutor role pushing the rescuer away by blaming them saying for example everything is their fault.
The rescuer then becomes the victim!

People in this relationship can and often do swap between roles of victim and persecutor continuing the cycle of the drama triangle.

If you are in this situation or recognise this pattern in your life or relationship it may be an idea to get some therapy so to look at a deeper level what causes you to act this way.

I can help with that and invite you to a free consultation, book here today.
Regards
Adam


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Rest and Recuperation

Rest and Recuperation

June 17, 2014

 

 

Rest is a very important part of recovery for the body and mind. Too many people over look or deny themselves this, we all need it and it is important.

I’ve just got back from 9 days in Egypt, I needed the holiday as I been working hard on my business and haven’t taken a real break for a couple of years. I’ve had the odd long weekend away but not a solid block of time relax and switch off. I didn’t check my phone or emails or did I want to, I wanted a complete break. Apart from some scuba diving which I find very relaxing I just chilled out in the sun being very lazy indeed. I am very careful and do take days off in the week and regularly do self-hypnosis.

People live very busy life’s week in week out and don’t release the toll it can take to often it’s too late and they start to become ill. People can get flu-like symptoms and just think it a cold but it’s the bodies way of try to slow you down almost a little warning sign to say you need to get some rest.

I have 2 friends whom I know have suffered as a results of living too much of a stressful life, one collapsed with stress which was caused by trying to do too much and not taking a break. My other friend is now suffering and this was caused by stress of work and personal issues. Both of these friends developed ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Chronic fatigue syndrome causes persistent fatigue (exhaustion) that affects everyday life and doesn’t go away with sleep or rest.  It is estimated that around 250,000 people in the UK have CFS

Having talked about this with them one of my friends said he believes the body has a set point of energy which we can dip in and out of every day but if we keep going into the reserves without giving it back then the body and mind will only allow this to happen before it starts the warning signs and then as a last resort it can shut us down by in some cases developing ME to not allow us to ever take too much again.  If we use 85% of energy and that safe to do every day then when we start using that extra 15% without giving back or in other words resting and having a break then it becomes a problem. My friends set point are now at a guess 50% of what they used to be getting tired very fast often feeling completely exhausted after a normal day. Please note: These cases are from what my friends have told me, and NOT me giving medical diagnosis.

We don’t fully understand what causes the illness. There are likely to be a number of factors involved. It sometimes affects more than one family member. The reasons are being studied but it seems your genes can play a part, as can the influence of your environment.

My advice would be to listen to what your body is telling you. If you know you need a break book a couple of days off and rest and give back what energy you may have taken and try not to go over that 85% if you do give it back as soon as possible. Try not to put yourself under long-term stress and strains in work or personal life. Look at learning some progressive relaxation techniques and do 10 minutes every day or even better learn self-hypnosis.

If you find yourself really struggling to de-stress then why not consider a stress buster session either with myself or someone local to you.

See you soon

Adam

http://www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


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Parts Therapy

Parts Therapy

April 9, 2014

 

This is one of the tools as a hypnotherapist I use a lot because it gets good results across the board for a range of problems and issues. So what is parts therapy?

Parts therapy is a tool in which the therapist can gain access to the unconscious parts of the mind by way of relaxing the client and taking them into hypnosis. As the client goes into hypnosis the unconscious mind sometimes wants to communicate to the therapists or will allow the therapist to negotiate a better outcome for the client. We can gain communication with the part by either asking it to signal yes or no using a finger on either hand; this is called ideo motor movements. In some cases I can get vocal agreement as well but this is not as common as getting some form of movement.

Our unconscious is there to help and protect us, and through this mechanism the unconscious sets up specific ‘parts’ to deal with trauma or special needs the individual may require. It is the nature of the mind to be subdivided into a number of ‘parts’. The intention of each ‘part’. There are no ‘bad’ parts and the goal of Parts Therapy is not to eliminate ‘parts,’ but instead to help find positive roles or behaviours also called jobs.

This will not be a conscious movement by the client in fact most of the time they will not be aware of their finger moving during the session. We can ask the part if it would be prepared to take on a better behaviour or if it would like to help the client by changing an outdated program. Sometimes this is straight forward but other times it can take a while to get the part to agree to a different outcome that it is happy about. There are other occasions that the part doesn’t know it is running an out dated program because it has worked for the client so far, but as we change from children to adults we often can take outdated behaviours with us and this is because they may have been protecting the client it someway. Our unconscious mind is there to protect us.

We can also get a part to talk to us via the client’s voice box or move a body part, for example the shoulders instead of the fingers, even open the client’s eyes. This is a very powerful tool that can help clients though all sorts of problems in life and one which I have had some amazing results helping clients make life changing progress even after just one session.

The part sometimes doesn’t want to talk or communicate at all and I’ve sometime got no response at all so I simply ask the part to let the client know somehow that it is present.

I’ve seen one client move violently and almost thrown from the chair, the client didn’t even know it had happened during the session. It can be quite upsetting if a client brings a partner into the therapy room during a session and I’ve had to ask them to sit down and let the session continue or leave the room on more than one occasion as they didn’t understand what was going on. I know it was them wanting to stop or protect their partners. In fact this was only the mind processing trauma, but they wouldn’t have known that. I now explain this away from the client before I allow partners in my therapy room if I suspect this may happen, it easier for them and me!

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


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Books.

February 3, 2014

 

People often ask me what sort of books or study I do, or they  ask what book I would recommend for self-help and improvement.

Well there are many questions like that and many good books on the subject, far too many write about in one blog.

What I’ve decided to do is just to tell you about a few of my favourite books that have helped me and given me the greater knowledge and I hope they will do for you too.

Anthony Robbins – Unlimited Power

This book was one of the first books I read that started to help me to understand how to change my own mind set and even perceptions around what I could achieve. I have read it a number of times and still love to pick it up and flick through it. He also wrote Awaken The Giant Within which he wrote before Unlimited Power but I read this after, possibly the wrong way around but it was still well worth reading this also is very inspirational for me giving answers and helping to believe in myself more. I recommend anything by Robbins

Mapping The Mind – Rita Carter

The best book and maybe the only one you will need until she brings out her next book on the brain and how it works. It is simply packed full of case studies and simple yet fully explains everything it very reader friendly way, in other word you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to understand this book. It will help you to understand this at times complicated subject. We all have a brain so why find out how that thing between our ears works !

I’m OK You’re OK – Thomas A Harris

This book was key to me getting to grips with the Parent- Adult- Child model of the personality otherwise known as Transactional Analysis. This book can get a little heavy and will take a little more reading but once you understand it , it opens up a completely new understanding of how we work and way we act, feel and say the thing we do sometimes.

Change Your Mind And Keep The Change – Steve & Connirae Andreas

This is another powerful book written by the brilliant Steve & Connirae. It is based on some advanced NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming). This book gives different strategies to deal with issues and problem in life. It is written in a very easy to understand way. The name Andreas within my industry is a haul mark of quality and knowledge and together this family has done a great deal to advance the field of personal change and NLP.

 The Rainbow Machine – Andrew T Austin

Tales from a neurolinguist’s journal is how Andrew has presented this little gem. I’ve trained with Andrew on a few occasions and his humour yet knowledge is a great joy to listen to. In this book he recounts some of his more memorable cases and events. Some will make you laugh; some will make you gasp in horror. He has a very different approach to many therapist and to be honest it very refreshing. It really is worth a read.

Free Will – Sam Harris

If you think you have a free will then this book will make you rethink your beliefs on this subject. It is very interesting and intelligently written. It will only take you about a hour or so to read but is well worth the time.

What am I reading at the moment?

Phantoms In The Brain – V S Ramachandran…..and so far it’s been a great brilliantly interesting neurological read. I ‘m about a 1/3 of the way through it.

I hope you enjoy the books if you decide to expand your knowledge.

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

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Pain

Pain

October 30, 2013

Pain is a very interesting area to work with and one that I’ve helped clients to gain control of.

So what is pain?

Pain is essentially an electrical signal sent via nerve pathways to your brain. Pain is the way your brain interprets information about a particular sensation that your body is experiencing. Interestingly there is no such thing as a pain center in your brain, the area’s that are activated when we feel pain are the same area’s that are activated with emotions and attention. The area of the brain is called the anterior cingulate cortex which resembles a “collar” surrounding the frontal part of the corpus callosum in the limbic system of the brain.  A lot of people therefor say pain is a perception. I know when I’ve hit my thumb with a hammer it bloody hurt!

Doctors can prescribe some powerful pain killers to help managed the discomfort it can cause. There are other things pain can cause too like depression due to being in constant pain, irritability and sleeplessness but to name a few. Painkillers interfere with the pain messages sent to your brain so dull the signal from the nerves to the brain, they don’t cure it but mask it. Pain is there for a good reason it’s our bodies way of saying something isn’t right or needs out attention, like my thumb!

So how can I help, well studies like the ones below point to good results using hypnosis.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2752362/

“The findings indicate that hypnosis interventions consistently produce significant decreases in pain associated with a variety of chronic-pain problems”

Also

“In 2004, researchers at the University of Iowa Roy J. and Lucille A. Carver College of Medicine and the Technical University of Aachen, Germany, tried to identify the exact effect of hypnosis on the brain using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). fMRI measures blood flow in the brain and can be used to view activity in different regions of the brain in real time. More blood flow indicates more activity. To conduct the experiment, the researchers asked participants to first identify when a hot surface became painful to the touch (an eight on a scale from zero to ten) and used fMRI to determine where the brian sent the pain signal. They then hypnotized the subjects and gave them suggestions aimed at reducing pain while increasing the temperature on the surface to the level previously reported as painful. All subjects reported reduced pain (less than a three on the pain scale) if they reported any pain at all. Additionally, the fMRI scan revealed a highly reduced amount of activity in the primary sensory cortex as well as the other high-level pain areas of the brain. Activity in the lower levels of the brain were unaffected by hypnosis, implying that the only changes hypnosis produced were in the conscious levels of the brain.”

http://www.science20.com/welcome_my_moon_base/does_hypnosis_work_relieve_pain

Hypnosis helps the client to go into another state of mind in which they can help to control the emotions linked to the pain and attention to that pain. I think this is one but not the only reasons why it works and this is just my opinion.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


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Feeling down?

Feeling Down?

October 16, 2013

There are times in life when I have felt down and depressed. This state effects lots of people and it seem to me the help from the doctors is not working too well. From what I have seen and heard doctors want to give people anti-depressants, it may help in the short term but it is not helping long term. People need to get to the root cause to change and start the healing process.

Many years ago I went to the doctors feeling down and depressed and yes he gave me some pills. I took the pills for 3 days and felt like a zombie, it was as if I was in a daze, not really there. It felt as though I was having an outer body experience as I wasn’t connected with the real world. After 3 days I said to myself and my parents whom I was still living with at the time I was throwing the pills in the bin and no one should be legally drugged like that. I know of people who have been on anti-depressants for years, is this helping them or masking the real problem? Maybe I didn’t give the drugs a chance to work but I wasn’t prepared to be drugged up to the eyes balls until they started working, give me some laughing gas instead !

There is much research into depression and what can help. It is proved that gentle exercises can help and also Diaphragmatic Breathing exercises help.

I went on a workshop with Andrew T Austin whom is very well known in the change work world. He uses a system to explain depression and this is what I also use now. Andrew has a vast knowledge on depression. I’ve trained with Andrew twice now and find it invaluable to my business and to myself.

 

 For more info on this training with Andrew go to

http://www.23nlpeople.com/

 

The Three Pillars of Depression.

 

Guilt                           Shame                    Remorse

                                   Causes

Anxiety                      Stress                       Panic

                                   Causes

Temper                      Anger                       Frustration

 

This doesn’t apply to every case or every individual but it is a good scale and I have found it very useful in the past.

Feeling down does not cause a chemical unbalance in the brian, there is NO scientific evidence to back this myth up.

Please feel free to read this study. http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.0020392

There are three basic molecules, known chemically as monoamines, which are thought to play a role in mood regulation: norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine. The areas of the brain implicated in depression are the forebrain and the limbic system.

As a rule people who are suffering from depression are always looking back at past events in their life, finding fault in themselves or going over past events. If they are looking back all the time how can they see where they are going or move forward without tripping up?

I have found that people sometimes talk themselves into a bad state of mind. I was with a friend and they said about someone “What a right state to get into” to which I said “No, what a wrong state to get into”. If we look at the words, it’s true we can get ourselves into the wrong state with negative internal dialogue. We can talk ourselves into a low state of mind, thinking of the worst case. This is what happened to me I was focused on every negative parts of my life and feeling sorry for myself. I talked and thought myself into a depressive state.

There are simple steps we can take. The first is a bit obvious but true Smile! If you smile even if you don’t feel like it you can’t feel bad while smiling and its a psychologically very hard to feel low, also look at how you hold your body posture.

Walk with your chin up and shoulders back, chest out like a confident person would and the same while you are sat at home don’t slump in your chair, make your posture is correct. I also ask people to watch their favourite funny movie or comedian anything that make them laugh or smile. This will release good endorphins into the blood stream which help the brain chemistry .

Get some brightly coloured paper and write a good memory on each on and place them in different rooms of your home. Every time you see the papers take a moment to think of that good memory. When depressed the visual cortex of the brain is dulled so it important to get it working again, i.e. the bright colours. You will also start to train you brain to think positive thoughts every time you enter a different room.

Always consult with your GP if you are not sure.

I can help with your GP’s permission and help you to stay off the pills !

If you are feeling down and would like some help please get in touch for a free consultation with me.

Adam Cowming

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

blhypno@yahoo.co.uk


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Change

Change

 

Chance can be a challenging thing if we don’t have the correct guidance or resources.

That’s basically what most of my clients come to see me about , they want to change  feelings, behaviours or a habit.

To get change we need a certain number of things to happen.

We need to recognise our patterns of behaviour or thoughts. Once people become aware of these they are no longer hidden so can’t be denied any longer.

Then we need to put an alternative in place or teach the brain to react in the way the client wants as in the outcome.

I use various skills to help this to happen such as transactional analysis, provocative therapy,  Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy.

 

Here is a short video explaining change.

Warm regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


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Helping Our Hero’s

Helping Our Hero’s

 

Some of you may or may not know that I help our hero’s regularly within my therapy business with Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Why?

Having sat in my chair time and time again hearing the horror stories of war and how the people are fed up with the help they received or not as the case maybe.

I keep hearing the same thing that these brave men and women are not getting the correct help they need but more importantly DESERVE !

As a rule I hear they generally only get 3 to 4 therapy sessions if they are lucky which Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) based therapy, talking in other words. The problem with this approach is talking about horrific events often causes flashbacks or worsens the symptoms of PTSD and Truama. Why is the MOD continuing down this road of crap therapy?

PTSD works in a strange way which is why talking will not help at all. Trauma can get stuck in the right hemisphere of the brain so unlike other experience or memories will not be processed correctly. The memory is stuck so the brain doesn’t know what to do with it that’s why people keep reliving the trauma. Talk just makes it worse frankly.

If it was working then why is my phone still ringing with ex or servicing personal wanting help?

The problems are numerous with people with PTSD often drinking heavily or taking drugs in order to self-medicate which in turn has a massive effect or family and relationships which often will not last the strain and stress. This behaviour tends to be almost like binge drinking or drugs going off for days at a time into oblivion mode.

I can help using a combination of science backed eye movement therapy which has had up to amazing 90% success rate all over the world.

I want to help it’s my way of saying thanks and giving back, I offer a free service to military and ex-military personal which I normal run on a Saturday morning and afternoon.

Do you know someone who needs help? CLICK HERE

Share this blog and point them my way.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


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Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety and Panic Attacks

First published May 22, 2013

Over the last few weeks and months I’ve seen a big increase though my therapy practise of people suffering anxiety or panic attack.

A lot of people complain of very similar symptoms such as racing heart beat and a feeling on being on edge all of the time among other things.

So what happening to cause people to feel like this?

First of all it will be more than likely start with something internally like negative dialog, which will create a picture in the mind. These two things together then create or start the process of creating a negative and most unwelcome feeling.

So the process starts at a neurological level in the brain.  It could be argued that anxiety itself is its own neurological symptom. After all, anxiety can change neurotransmitter levels in your brain causing them to send unusual signals to the rest of your body that  actually effect all your nervous systems and causes real sensations/symptoms.

The forebrain is the area most affected in people with anxiety disorders. The limbic system, which is involved in storing memories and creating emotions, is also thought to play a central role in processing all anxiety-related information. Both the locus coeruleus and the dorsal raphe project to the septohippocampal circuit, which in turn projects to other areas of the limbic system that mediate anxiety. The hippocampus and amygdala are of particular importance, as they are interconnected and also project to both subcortical and cortical nuclei. The amygdala fires off the fight, flight or freeze reaction in the brain then floods the body with adenine. It is the increased activity of the amygdala that causes the symptoms of anxiety and panic. It acually happens like this freeze, fight or flight.

Normally after each anxiety event, the amygdala resets itself to a normal level. But if we continue to experience anxiety or stress over a long period of time, our amygdala is modified and becomes fixed at a high anxiety level. In other words it is in the on position and needs to be switched off.

So it is a very real problem for some people. I think that a panic attack is anxiety but a much stronger reaction, anxiety that has been allowed to grow and become somewhat out of control. A friend who was a nurse in A&E in a local hospital said that 99% of people admitted to hospital who think they are having a heart attack are actually experiencing a panic attack

Anxiety and panic attacks can be cause by increased stress and inadequate coping mechanisms may contribute to anxiety.

One of the best ways to help yourself is to try deep breathing exercise every day for around 10 – 15 minutes at time.

How to do Deep Breathing Exercises:

  1. Find somewhere comfortable where you will not be disturbed during the exercise, if necessary tell who you live with family etc than you don’t want to be disturbed and to be considerate to your needs.
  2. Lie down or sit in a comfy chair, place your hands on your lower stomach. Breathe in through your nose so that your stomach rises, this mean than you will be breathing from the bottom of the lungs not the top. Hold the breath for a couple of seconds then slowly breathe out.
  3. Repeat these 3 or 4 times then allow your breathing to go back to normal.
  4. Concentrate on different parts of the body allowing these to relax one by one starting with the top of your head and working all the way down to the tips of your toes. Image you are in a wonderfully relaxing a safe place, I like to think of myself lying on a beach sunbathing.
  5. Just allow yourself 10 to 15 minutes of relaxing this way every day making part of your lifestyle. Try not to fall asleep as relaxation is different to sleep so you don’t want to associate relaxing with going to sleep although you may find it hard not too drop off at first.

If you feel you need a little more help then please contact me via the website or the office telephone number. www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk or 024 76362360

I am available for one to one or Skype (adam.cowming) therapy sessions if you can’t get to my office in person.

Regards

Adam