Category Archives: Uncategorized

It’s OK To Fail.

“It’s okay to fail. It is not okay to give up.”
Clare LaMeres

There is a saying “There is no failure only results” and I kind of like it as long as it’s used in the correct context.

So why is ok to fail?

Everyone fails, EVERYONE. It’s okay to fail

Don’t be afraid to fail or get knocked back, if you are not where you what to be learn from it, take the good bits and move forward again and leave the bad bits behind.

Failing is not a problem however it becomes a problem if you are failing at the same thing repeatedly without learning a lesson from each attempt.

Have the confidence to say to yourself you will find a way around this problem.

Many of the world’s most successful people have failed many times before finding success.

Fall back on the experiences you already have, use it wisely. Everyday is a school day !

Don’t miss those lessons… because they’re critical.

Rely on the basic knowledge you already have and use that also.

By failing we learn what not to do again, we learn lesson about ourselves and life.

Anyone who tells you they have never failed is telling you BS and not worth wasting your time with. We must fail in order to succeed. It’s okay to fail

By failing we must re access the situation for within and ask powerful questions of ourselves or the people around us or team.

It doesn’t matter what the issue it’s your mental approach to it that matters.

Questions to ask

What can I learn from this situation?

and

How can I improve on what I did last time?

and

How can I grow as person from this?

Finally, stay positive, have a backup plan, and learn from whatever happens. Your failures will be sources of education and inspiration rather than humiliation.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

Failures can be blessings in disguise.

Go boldly in the direction of your dreams and goals. Don’t allow fear to stand in your way.

Adam Cowming

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Value Yourself

Value Yourself

Knowing who you are and what you value are is one of the most important things we can learn about ourselves in life.

Being who you are is critical to who you are and your growth as a person.

What is your perception of yourself?

Do you do your thing or follow others?

Are you a square peg fitting in a round hole?

Being who you want to be isn’t a crime, trying to be like someone else because we are told we need to be like that person is!

Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind!

Be your authentic self and by doing so you will identify the people you want in your life people who will encourage you love yourself and grow those are the people you want in your life become a better version of yourself

Be who you are. Be who you want to be. It means you value yourself enough to be you. When you look in the mirror do you see a person you like and love?

Be true to who you are and what you want. No should tell you what success mean to you in life or what a great life is or what you should or should not be doing with your life. What success is for one person may not be success for you. The only path is happiness or success in your like is for you to be you and life your life the way you want to.

To get the most out life sometimes we have to follow our own path, to listen yourself don’t get caught up living a life you don’t want to live. Be yourself.

Learn for others wisdom and lessons but ONLY take what works for you. Do more things that make you laugh or smile, more things to make you proud to be you. Don’t be defined by what others think of you. You are you and there will never be other you.

Kurt Cobain Quotes

I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

Being yourself will filter out those people who don’t get you and attracted those that want to be around you. People who are hating the people being real are fake people themselves and the people loving fake people are the same fake people. Real knows real and real knows fake.

Who do you want in your life fake people or real people?

BE YOURSELF because living a life trying to fit in or trying to be someone else so others will like you so you fit in “on the outside” but on “the inside” you will never be happy.

Happiness is the key in life, how happy are you on a consistent basis? We can make a different choice everyday to help to be who we are and the sort of life we want to lead.

You can change your mind anytime or overtime but keep you in mind and don’t spend time anyone or thing that drains your energy. Where you are is not as important as where you are. Defining who you are not is the first step to finding who you are. Give your energy to the positive things and people in your life the one you know support and love you.

Regards

Adam

Beatiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Changing Face Of Therapy

The face of therapy has certainly changed since I first started learning NLP, Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy and becoming part of the self-improvement community.

I first started out seeing people for free for such things like confidence and self-esteem and it was more of a coaching role than as a therapist.

As I qualified and progressed in my learning and confidence I took on more and more clients with various issue some more complicated than others. I’m so glad that my training was very in death and robust so I could tell with such issues also have a mentor on the end of the phone to help, advice and guide me and if I felt the issue to too much for me I’d refer them to my mentor. I also attended many therapy courses learning from some of the best in the industry meaning I fast tracked my learning and knowledge passing each lesson on my clients. The best I am the best result for the client.

Over the 3 or 4 years I have had a massive increase in anxiety or trauma related issues which I never saw at all 7 or 8 years ago, if fact it was rare to get a client for anxiety. Now about 60 – 70 % of my clients are for anxiety or trauma related issues.  I’m finding trauma linked to lots of conditions or the underlying issues.

I’ve also seen a big increase in clients coming to see me for help with child based trauma issues that happen to them which is massively brave to admit and face and get the correct therapy for. I said when I started that I didn’t want to take any abuse cases because I found it very hard to listen to however I have found again this pops out in therapy and they sometimes have come in for something completely different. It still sadness me greatly to hear these stories.

Having the correct training to deal with such cases was an important part of my evolution as a therapist with is called Blast Technique.

I’m still a work in process and believe we all work on ourselves to so we are in the best position to help clients. I continue to learn and progress myself gaining more knowledge to pass on in my therapy practice.

Adam Cowming

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

024 77676915


The Magic Pill

Category : Uncategorized

Hypnotherapy is not a magic pill.

In this blog I want to talk about managing clients expectations.

Time and time again I get new clients coming to see me who expect to be fixed in one session. I believe this to be in unrealistic in a lot of cases. If someone comes in with a simple phobia or fear then one session is often enough however I cannot guarantee this either.

If you’ve had an issue for years and years is it is it really acceptable or realistic that it can be completely cured I got rid of within a one-hour session?

A lot of behaviours seem very simple on the surface but can be complicated when you start delving deeper. I want you to imagine people are just like an onion, we have to peel away the layers in order to get to the core.

The psychologist Carl Jung said behind every emotion there is an emotion hence the onion metaphor above.

It is my job as a therapist to explain this to new clients and manage their expectations.

Yes I have seen some truly wonderful results within one hypnotherapy session, these clients tend to be very open to positive suggestion and change. I treat the client not the symptom.

I believe hypnotherapy when used by experienced and fully trained practitioner like myself is a very powerful tool for change.

There are a couple of elements in therapy which will help towards the success therapeutic process.

The skill and experience of the practitioner or therapists in conveying and communicating effectively the skills and tools needed by the client.

The client has to be ready for change and go into the process wholeheartedly accepting the suggestions of therapists or practitioner. The client has to be prepared to do some homework as well, I may set the client some mental training tasks or physical tasks this is help the client get to the maximum benefit. I expect the client to carry these out to my instructions.

Everything I do is to help the client.

Effectively the therapist and client work together as a team allowing the desired outcome become a reality.

Regards

Adam

For an appointment please contact my office on 024 77676915


Life Balance

Life Balance

Everything in life has to have some balance in order to work or function.

I see clients who haven’t parts of their life quite right or have lacked the understanding to make a change.

So let look at a few examples.

The client who works too hard to make something of themselves but neglect the other things some as relaxation time or time to just switch off. If they are not giving themselves time to recharge their battery what do you think will happen?

Think of yourself like a smart phone, if you have too many apps running it will slow the phone down and also run the power of the battery down a lot faster. We need to recharge just like our phones.

There is the other side of the coin; someone who just wants to have fun is not interested in work and anything too serious in life. They have a job but don’t really want promotion just the wage at the end of the week to go out party, maybe do some drugs and meet the opposite sex and have a good time.

I’m not judging as if both parties are happy living that way then great, however in my experience something will have to give at some point and more of a balance in life created or thought about?

Could you work 60 – 70 hours a week with no life outside work, how would family suffer, relationship and friendships?

Or could you go out all the time drinking and partying 7 days a week, again there are health implications to consider among a whole host of potential issues down the line such a becoming alcohol or drug dependant.

It can relate to other area’s in life should as food I recommend 80% healthy eating and 20% a bit of what you like.

Nature is always a good place to look for balance as if it’s not correct we generally know about it and it’s massive in the news at the moment that we haven’t got it correct and need to help nature in order to regain that balance.

I find a nice walk in the countryside helps me to balance my thoughts and recharge my batteries even though I have a habit of picking tough walks sometimes. I still enjoy being in nature and away from everyday distractions.

I wonder what your life balance is like and if you can think of a way to improve it in some small way to start with?

Let me know if you require that little bit of help like I did when I was younger.

Call the office for a free consultastion 024 77676915

Regards

Adam


Self Belief

Self Belief

What is it and why do we need it?

We demonstrate the confidence and belief we have in ourselves in a number of ways; our behaviour, our mood and even how we carry ourselves. It’s common for individuals who lack self-belief and self-confidence to find certain areas of their life affected.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

Examine your strengths, limitations and the reality of your situation honestly every day. Some days you won’t believe in yourself, and that’s OK. But if you can unpack and see where that temporary disbelief is rooted, you’ll identify what’s needed to move forward.

Moving forward ultimately leads to success, nothing more

That’s right, believing in yourself is a choice. It is an attitude you develop over time. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite any problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself.

The thing about confidence is that you get it by doing things over and over again. And while I’m not going to pretend everyone you come into contact with will be lovely and supportive if you ask for help, most people love helping others because it makes them feel good.

Always celebrate your successes and encourage yourself when you face setbacks. Building confidence does not happen overnight; it takes time for your brain to be convinced of the compliments you give yourself. Speaking comments out loud while you look back at your image in the mirror can help as it is you actually talking to yourself helps build self confidence.

You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. I learned to recognize negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would be on the lookout for these. When I caught one, I would stop it and squash it, question it then replace it with a positive one.

Regards

Adam

024 77676915 Office

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


“Coventry Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy Conference 2019”

I thought I’d let you know my experience of speaking at this conference and the other speakers at the event set up by Nick Davies of The Warwickshire School of Hypnotherapy.

So the first speaker of the day was who I will describe as a real gentleman with a wealth of knowledge. Steven Blake who talked about his methods of dealing with pain and his system called “Oldpain2go”.

I’d heard really good things and was certainly intrigued by the method and thoughts behind it, I wasn’t disappointed. I loved the approach and application of the techniques which was demonstrated by Steven in a master class of elegance and skill. Steven has a real passion for helping people and that shone through in his presentation.  I will certainly be training in this, I was up next and what a tough act to follow!

I spoke about my approach and thoughts on “Weight Management” using my unique approach which is a little different from tradition.  I shared my finding on “What, How and Why” people eat and also the relation to digesting information going into Transactional Analysis, Metaphor work and the provocative style I use with some more challenging clients.

I really enjoyed the experience and hope the other delegates and speakers enjoyed my contribution and challenging methods.

The next speaker was someone I know, my friend, mentor, supervisor and organiser of the conference, Nick Davies.

Nick presentation was on PTSD and Trauma which he has featured in many media publications and radio. He is known as “The PTSD Whisper” and is in my opinion the go to guy on this subject.

Nick has all the neurology to back up his BLAST® Technique and his presenting style is very polished he is very easy to listen to also eager to answer any questions on the subject. His passion is clear and knowledge is outstanding. Nick is world class and once again proved it with a demonstration of his skill with people. I never fail to learn when around Nick.

Next up was Christopher Paul Jones also known as “The Breakthrough Expert” and also has been featured on TV and media and is very charismatic.

Christopher spoke on fears and phobia’s and has a deep knowledge on the subject interacting with the audience and sharing some great tips and tricks to deal with any issues client have. The presentation was slick and professional incorporating a real personal story of his fear of flying and how he overcame this. Chris also did a live demo which was very good helping someone with a fear of dogs.

Big Darren Housley was next talking on more of the business side of therapy, Practice Building. Darren is probably the busiest therapist I know seeing up to 30 clients a week in Yorkshire. Darren’s presentation was delivered with humour and knowledge. This is an area which is neglected by some therapist so the information was of great value and I think we all learned a great deal from it. It’s great to see a person with a passion for helping as many people as he can succeed and also so free with his inside knowledge so other can gain from that. He held nothing back and was very open and honest with any questions from the delegates and another true gent of this profession.

Last but not least was Colin T Fisher someone new to me and talking on the subject “Law of Attraction”.  I must admit I used to be a little sceptical on this subject however I always approach anything with an open mind.  Colin certain has a lot of energy when presenting and had us all in the right vibe. He presentation talked a lot about what he thought was missing from a lot of LOA stuff and I must admit I liked him from the off. I’m certainly going to put into practice what he taught as a lot of it was good advice that made sense, none of the fluffy nonsense, it also helped he is a very good business man so lives in the real world and shared his successes and failures with us. He is also was a bloody nice bloke.

All in all the day was a great success. I look forward to next year’s conference which I’m sure will be bigger, better (If that’s possible!) and with more speakers.

Adam Cowming

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk 024 77676915


Why come to see a therapist?

Taking care of your mental health is an important step in caring for yourself as a whole. Stress, anxiety, depression, addictions, and more can all affect your day-to-day life; seeing a therapist can help you form healthy coping tactics that can improve your quality of life. In some cases, symptoms can be indicators of larger problems, and a therapist can offer insight into what may be causing them.

Therapy used to have the stigma that it was only for seriously “messed up” people. And though some of those feelings still exist, the stereotype is slowly being left behind.

Many people find that therapy also provides some unexpected benefits. When they leave, they realize they’ve gotten more than they bargained for—sort of a bonus for engaging in the experience.

The main objective is helping people relieve their symptoms and underlying issues. But if they can resolve their problem while becoming better listeners and empathizers with an ability to discuss deep issues in a way that positively impacts their inner circle, what’s the problem?

Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

Rather than seeking out therapy (men?), people will convince themselves that everything is fine. They tell themselves their sadness, worry, irritability, sleeping problems, high stress, and physical tension will dissipate independently.

The real courage comes from identifying the need for treatment and sharing this need with trusted people in your life. Shouting your symptoms across every social media platform isn’t necessary or helpful — you only have to admit the truth to yourself.

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

024 77676915

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

So what do I mean by the title of this blog “Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy”?

I believe that is a lot of uncertainty when seeking help from a therapist.

I see clients all the time who come to see me with a lot of anticipation of what’s going to happen and generally the whole therapy process / experience.  There is still a stigma attached to seeking help in the UK where people consider themselves weak for asking for help.

I also believe this sigma is incorrect in fact in my opinion it takes a great deal of strength to realise you need help and to make that call to someone like myself and why I intend to help as many people as I can.

I think therapy should in most cases be like talking to an old friend where the client feels relaxed, at ease and most of all understood and listened to!

I also work in a way that incorporates humour where appropriate and make it fun, as a therapist I find this greatly improves the session for myself and the client.

I take away all the mystery and big so called intelligent words and talk and explain everything in a down to earth manner just like I would expect if I were a client.

If you have any questions please contact me.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy Coventry


Secondary Gain

Secondary Gain

 

Secondary gains are the “benefits” people get from NOT overcoming a problem. For many people who are stuck, secondary gains are an important mechanism in why they stay stuck. Secondary gain is usually not something people are consciously aware of e.g. generally the person is not being consciously manipulative or faking (the distress/impairment is still real).

When a client is asked what secondary gain they have by hanging on to their illness or negative behavior they are often oblivious to how their terrible struggle with the illness or behavior could benefit them in any way. In other words, they are not consciously refusing to change. Once a secondary gain is identified and brought to the conscious level it can be very insightful and life changing.

Take a moment and consider a change in your life you have repeatedly addressed with minimal progress. Challenge yourself to acknowledge how the unhealthy behavior or habit benefits you. What would you potentially lose by creating change in your life?

Sometimes the client will have no idea as to why the habit continues. It has gone unconscious become a habit an autopilot response and gone in to that part of our old brain that is concerned with survival.

Our subconscious mind or at least at part of it does seem to have a limited intelligence. This part is often called our inner child, by some. At this level of mind decisions are made that effect our lives, sometimes in huge ways.

How do we figure out whether we have secondary gain issues?

Be honest, very honest with yourself when answering this question – Am I standing in my own way? If you are getting an emotional reaction while reading this (anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow, or a sense of loss), it is very likely that your secondary gain issue is coming up.

Address it now. Remove it from your nonconscious mind remembering that your hidden mind does not want to give it up without a fight. Bring your secondary gain into your conscious mind by writing it down, journaling about it, making an audio or video recording of it, or talking to a therapist or a life coach about so that you are free to move on.

Feel free to share other ways you know of to overcome the secondary gain trap or contact me privately if you need some help.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk