Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

So what do I mean by the title of this blog “Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy”?

I believe that is a lot of uncertainty when seeking help from a therapist.

I see clients all the time who come to see me with a lot of anticipation of what’s going to happen and generally the whole therapy process / experience.  There is still a stigma attached to seeking help in the UK where people consider themselves weak for asking for help.

I also believe this sigma is incorrect in fact in my opinion it takes a great deal of strength to realise you need help and to make that call to someone like myself and why I intend to help as many people as I can.

I think therapy should in most cases be like talking to an old friend where the client feels relaxed, at ease and most of all understood and listened to!

I also work in a way that incorporates humour where appropriate and make it fun, as a therapist I find this greatly improves the session for myself and the client.

I take away all the mystery and big so called intelligent words and talk and explain everything in a down to earth manner just like I would expect if I were a client.

If you have any questions please contact me.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy Coventry


Secondary Gain

Secondary Gain

 

Secondary gains are the “benefits” people get from NOT overcoming a problem. For many people who are stuck, secondary gains are an important mechanism in why they stay stuck. Secondary gain is usually not something people are consciously aware of e.g. generally the person is not being consciously manipulative or faking (the distress/impairment is still real).

When a client is asked what secondary gain they have by hanging on to their illness or negative behavior they are often oblivious to how their terrible struggle with the illness or behavior could benefit them in any way. In other words, they are not consciously refusing to change. Once a secondary gain is identified and brought to the conscious level it can be very insightful and life changing.

Take a moment and consider a change in your life you have repeatedly addressed with minimal progress. Challenge yourself to acknowledge how the unhealthy behavior or habit benefits you. What would you potentially lose by creating change in your life?

Sometimes the client will have no idea as to why the habit continues. It has gone unconscious become a habit an autopilot response and gone in to that part of our old brain that is concerned with survival.

Our subconscious mind or at least at part of it does seem to have a limited intelligence. This part is often called our inner child, by some. At this level of mind decisions are made that effect our lives, sometimes in huge ways.

How do we figure out whether we have secondary gain issues?

Be honest, very honest with yourself when answering this question – Am I standing in my own way? If you are getting an emotional reaction while reading this (anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow, or a sense of loss), it is very likely that your secondary gain issue is coming up.

Address it now. Remove it from your nonconscious mind remembering that your hidden mind does not want to give it up without a fight. Bring your secondary gain into your conscious mind by writing it down, journaling about it, making an audio or video recording of it, or talking to a therapist or a life coach about so that you are free to move on.

Feel free to share other ways you know of to overcome the secondary gain trap or contact me privately if you need some help.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Last Resort

 

I often hear from new client that hypnotherapy is their last resort and that they have tried everything else until someone mentioned ringing a hypnotherapist because they or someone they know has been to see one and it worked on that issue.

So why is hypnotherapy seen by the general public as a last resort?

I believe it’s because they are afraid we can take over their minds, there are a lot of myths and hearsay out there that just isn’t based on any truth.

They may have seen a stage hypnosis show and think that is what happens and they may be made to feel silly. I for one love watching a good stage hypnosis show and have some good friends who are great stage hypnotist but who are equally good therapists as well. My friends do the show and I know for a fact they get therapy work from those show. The shows are more about show what the human mind is capable of and having a little fun along the way. I believe that the stage shows are a good thing as long as they are done correctly which I know all my friends do and do to a very high standard.

I like to see a client after the first session to see what difference it has made, normally there has been a mental unconscious shift to allow the client to gain more control in that area of their life that wanted the help with. Some clients it can be a very subtle change but one they have noticed between sessions or others they come in and say that they can’t believe the difference one or two sessions has made to their life.

The modern hypnotherapist has moved on from some of the public perception of swinging pocket watches.  I personally study things like neurology to get a better understanding of how the human mind works and reacts to certain things. I study modern psychology to learn about behaviours and how new thinking is progressing on these matters. I like to look at new and existing idea’s, I also study from some of the people who came up with some of these idea’s years ago as I believe there is always a value to learning something new or indeed going back over things again. I certainly don’t know it all and never will, but I’m happy to continue my learning wherever that may take me.

I use all of my knowledge to help my clients get the best results for them. I’m not saying I can help 100% of the people through my door but I have a good success rate and referral rate from past clients.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk / 024 76362360


New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions

My Quick Guide.

Did you know that only 8 percent (or maybe it’s 12 percent) of people end up accomplishing their New Year’s Resolutions? That means that 92 (or 88) out of 100 New Year’s Resolutions end in “in-complete” and utter failure.

The first step of this process involves a period of self-reflection and introspection. This is a very important step because it lays down the foundations for the New Year’s Resolutions you will set for the coming 12 months. These foundations are set in place when you clearly understand where you’ve come from, what you’ve done to get here, and how your life will potentially unfold in the future as a result of these experiences.

Well, now’s your chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make, and being the charitable and caring person that I am here at, I’ve decided to give you a bit of help – because since the majority of people fail to stick to their resolution, you’ll need all the help you can get.

Send an email to your future self. Seriously, do it lets you send an email to yourself in the future at a date you specify. A great way to bridge the gap between your present and future selves is to tell your future self how your current actions will benefit yourself in the future.

Keeping a diary of your progress is a useful way to help you stay on track and see how far you’ve come. Enlisting the support of friends and family by explaining what you’re trying to achieve is another good way to help you stick to your goal.

Set your goals on a number of levels:

  • First you create your “big picture” of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve.
  • Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.
  • Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.

This is why we start the process of setting goals by looking at your lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.

It’s important to understand that the intentions you set for the New Year will never be realized if you keep living at the same level as last year. New goals require a new set of habits, rituals and beliefs. These three elements in combination will help you create the momentum you need to follow through with your intentions to attain your New Year’s Resolutions. You will therefore need to make modifications on all three levels if you desire to realize concrete long-term results. And of course, the best way to begin doing this is by raising your personal standards.

I wish you the greatest of success along this journey and the very best for the year ahead!

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

info@blhypnotherapy.co.uk


A Client Session With Me

A Client Session

What a client session is like with me.

A client will often come and see me with no idea how I can help them with limited knowledge of Hypnotherapy.

The first thing that happens is a look at the issue and any information around that issue that maybe useful or directly linked.

I do warn some client that my methods are sometimes not the norm or what they may expect. I use lots of tools some of which seem odd if they are expecting straight forward CBT style therapy.

I can at times use provocative therapy which for the client is a bit strange and can take them out of a comfort zone or just plain confuse them to what is going on.

Everything I do in therapy is to help the client; I often will end the session at a point where the client may think it’s not finished. This is deliberate is order for the client to have time to work things out, I leave the client time to really think and to come to their own conclusions where appropriate.

I use eye movement therapy called “Blast Technique”

BLAST Technique™ is a Amygdala Desensitising Technique (ADT) which has been created and developed to work faster and more effectively with PTSD and trauma.

BLAST Technique created by Nick Davies (Bi Lateral Analysis and Stimulation Treatment) which has been developed from EMDR. When post-traumatic stress syndrome is involved, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) is better than other types of therapies.

I also use NLP and Hypnotherapy.

I have admit that a lot of the fixes are out of what people think of hypnosis.

I once had a client who I knew needed help. I was going through some process in order to help them when they stated “Can’t we just get on the with the hypnosis stuff” thinking that was the bit that would fix them but the work had already been done so I we did the hypnosis and they left thinking that’s what fixed them. I knew the fix took about 10 minutes in reality.

So to sum this blog up I work in what I think gets the client the best and fastest results although sometime in what the client may seem a strange way at time.

I do work in very traditional ways also if I think that approach is more suitable for that client.

Contact me today for your complimentary consultation.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Parts Therapy

Parts Therapy

April 9, 2014

 

This is one of the tools as a hypnotherapist I use a lot because it gets good results across the board for a range of problems and issues. So what is parts therapy?

Parts therapy is a tool in which the therapist can gain access to the unconscious parts of the mind by way of relaxing the client and taking them into hypnosis. As the client goes into hypnosis the unconscious mind sometimes wants to communicate to the therapists or will allow the therapist to negotiate a better outcome for the client. We can gain communication with the part by either asking it to signal yes or no using a finger on either hand; this is called ideo motor movements. In some cases I can get vocal agreement as well but this is not as common as getting some form of movement.

Our unconscious is there to help and protect us, and through this mechanism the unconscious sets up specific ‘parts’ to deal with trauma or special needs the individual may require. It is the nature of the mind to be subdivided into a number of ‘parts’. The intention of each ‘part’. There are no ‘bad’ parts and the goal of Parts Therapy is not to eliminate ‘parts,’ but instead to help find positive roles or behaviours also called jobs.

This will not be a conscious movement by the client in fact most of the time they will not be aware of their finger moving during the session. We can ask the part if it would be prepared to take on a better behaviour or if it would like to help the client by changing an outdated program. Sometimes this is straight forward but other times it can take a while to get the part to agree to a different outcome that it is happy about. There are other occasions that the part doesn’t know it is running an out dated program because it has worked for the client so far, but as we change from children to adults we often can take outdated behaviours with us and this is because they may have been protecting the client it someway. Our unconscious mind is there to protect us.

We can also get a part to talk to us via the client’s voice box or move a body part, for example the shoulders instead of the fingers, even open the client’s eyes. This is a very powerful tool that can help clients though all sorts of problems in life and one which I have had some amazing results helping clients make life changing progress even after just one session.

The part sometimes doesn’t want to talk or communicate at all and I’ve sometime got no response at all so I simply ask the part to let the client know somehow that it is present.

I’ve seen one client move violently and almost thrown from the chair, the client didn’t even know it had happened during the session. It can be quite upsetting if a client brings a partner into the therapy room during a session and I’ve had to ask them to sit down and let the session continue or leave the room on more than one occasion as they didn’t understand what was going on. I know it was them wanting to stop or protect their partners. In fact this was only the mind processing trauma, but they wouldn’t have known that. I now explain this away from the client before I allow partners in my therapy room if I suspect this may happen, it easier for them and me!

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Books.

February 3, 2014

 

People often ask me what sort of books or study I do, or they  ask what book I would recommend for self-help and improvement.

Well there are many questions like that and many good books on the subject, far too many write about in one blog.

What I’ve decided to do is just to tell you about a few of my favourite books that have helped me and given me the greater knowledge and I hope they will do for you too.

Anthony Robbins – Unlimited Power

This book was one of the first books I read that started to help me to understand how to change my own mind set and even perceptions around what I could achieve. I have read it a number of times and still love to pick it up and flick through it. He also wrote Awaken The Giant Within which he wrote before Unlimited Power but I read this after, possibly the wrong way around but it was still well worth reading this also is very inspirational for me giving answers and helping to believe in myself more. I recommend anything by Robbins

Mapping The Mind – Rita Carter

The best book and maybe the only one you will need until she brings out her next book on the brain and how it works. It is simply packed full of case studies and simple yet fully explains everything it very reader friendly way, in other word you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to understand this book. It will help you to understand this at times complicated subject. We all have a brain so why find out how that thing between our ears works !

I’m OK You’re OK – Thomas A Harris

This book was key to me getting to grips with the Parent- Adult- Child model of the personality otherwise known as Transactional Analysis. This book can get a little heavy and will take a little more reading but once you understand it , it opens up a completely new understanding of how we work and way we act, feel and say the thing we do sometimes.

Change Your Mind And Keep The Change – Steve & Connirae Andreas

This is another powerful book written by the brilliant Steve & Connirae. It is based on some advanced NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming). This book gives different strategies to deal with issues and problem in life. It is written in a very easy to understand way. The name Andreas within my industry is a haul mark of quality and knowledge and together this family has done a great deal to advance the field of personal change and NLP.

 The Rainbow Machine – Andrew T Austin

Tales from a neurolinguist’s journal is how Andrew has presented this little gem. I’ve trained with Andrew on a few occasions and his humour yet knowledge is a great joy to listen to. In this book he recounts some of his more memorable cases and events. Some will make you laugh; some will make you gasp in horror. He has a very different approach to many therapist and to be honest it very refreshing. It really is worth a read.

Free Will – Sam Harris

If you think you have a free will then this book will make you rethink your beliefs on this subject. It is very interesting and intelligently written. It will only take you about a hour or so to read but is well worth the time.

What am I reading at the moment?

Phantoms In The Brain – V S Ramachandran…..and so far it’s been a great brilliantly interesting neurological read. I ‘m about a 1/3 of the way through it.

I hope you enjoy the books if you decide to expand your knowledge.

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

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Feeling down?

Feeling Down?

October 16, 2013
There are times in life when I have felt down and depressed. This state effects lots of people and it seem to me the help from the doctors is not working too well. From what I have seen and heard doctors want to give people anti-depressants, it may help in the short term but it is not helping long term. People need to get to the root cause to change and start the healing process.

Many years ago I went to the doctors feeling down and depressed and yes he gave me some pills. I took the pills for 3 days and felt like a zombie, it was as if I was in a daze, not really there. It felt as though I was having an outer body experience as I wasn’t connected with the real world. After 3 days I said to myself and my parents whom I was still living with at the time I was throwing the pills in the bin and no one should be legally drugged like that. I know of people who have been on anti-depressants for years, is this helping them or masking the real problem? Maybe I didn’t give the drugs a chance to work but I wasn’t prepared to be drugged up to the eyes balls until they started working, give me some laughing gas instead !

There is much research into depression and what can help. It is proved that gentle exercises can help and also Diaphragmatic Breathing exercises help.

I went on a workshop with Andrew T Austin whom is very well known in the change work world. He uses a system to explain depression and this is what I also use now. Andrew has a vast knowledge on depression. I’ve trained with Andrew twice now and find it invaluable to my business and to myself.

For more info on this training with Andrew go to

http://www.23nlpeople.com/

The Three Pillars of Depression.

Guilt Shame Remorse

Causes

Anxiety Stress Panic

Causes

Temper Anger Frustration

This doesn’t apply to every case or every individual but it is a good scale and I have found it very useful in the past.

Feeling down does not cause a chemical unbalance in the brian, there is NO scientific evidence to back this myth up.

Please feel free to read this study. http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.0020392

There are three basic molecules, known chemically as monoamines, which are thought to play a role in mood regulation: norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine. The areas of the brain implicated in depression are the forebrain and the limbic system.

As a rule people who are suffering from depression are always looking back at past events in their life, finding fault in themselves or going over past events. If they are looking back all the time how can they see where they are going or move forward without tripping up?

I have found that people sometimes talk themselves into a bad state of mind. I was with a friend and they said about someone “What a right state to get into” to which I said “No, what a wrong state to get into”. If we look at the words, it’s true we can get ourselves into the wrong state with negative internal dialogue. We can talk ourselves into a low state of mind, thinking of the worst case. This is what happened to me I was focused on every negative parts of my life and feeling sorry for myself. I talked and thought myself into a depressive state.

There are simple steps we can take. The first is a bit obvious but true Smile! If you smile even if you don’t feel like it you can’t feel bad while smiling and its a psychologically very hard to feel low, also look at how you hold your body posture.

Walk with your chin up and shoulders back, chest out like a confident person would and the same while you are sat at home don’t slump in your chair, make your posture is correct. I also ask people to watch their favourite funny movie or comedian anything that make them laugh or smile. This will release good endorphins into the blood stream which help the brain chemistry .

Get some brightly coloured paper and write a good memory on each on and place them in different rooms of your home. Every time you see the papers take a moment to think of that good memory. When depressed the visual cortex of the brain is dulled so it important to get it working again, i.e. the bright colours. You will also start to train you brain to think positive thoughts every time you enter a different room.

Always consult with your GP if you are not sure.

I can help with your GP’s permission and help you to stay off the pills !

If you are feeling down and would like some help please get in touch for a free consultation with me.

Adam Cowming

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

blhypno@yahoo.co.uk


Provocative Change Works

 

Provocative Change Works

First published on April 15, 2013

I’ve just attended a Nick Kemp workshop called “Provocative Change Works” or PCW

I wasn’t really sure about the approach to this kind of therapy as it is something I’ve never done before. I’d seen Nick working using this method online and I just didn’t get what was going on. I knew Nick was a world-class therapist so something was going on but what?

Having found the venue in Swindon I found out that most of the attendees were doing the PCW workshop as part of their ongoing  NLP Master Practitioner course and a few like me were there to just learn about PCW. I was made to feel very much welcome by the host of the training Tony Nutley from UK College of Personal Development.

While sat listening to Nick he started the learning process in a very humoured manner explaining everything in an easy to understand way, no big unnecessary words (phew). I instantly liked the PCW approach and Nick’s relaxed yet informative manner. It was a lot of fun right from the off. Nick did the first live one to one demo session of around 25 minutes. The demo was with a real issue that Nick knew nothing about beforehand. I sat, watched and listened.

Nick then started to breakdown the session using the 27 PCW stances and explaining what and why he used one or another. I was surprised just how many times he changed stances with ease and no effort, it just seem to flow in a very natural and easy way. It was more like a chat with a mate than therapy, or that is the perception. Once the subtleties are exposed I began to see what a very simple but fantastic way of working this is.  I thought “Now this is something I can use”.

What I also found interesting is that it was put into the NLP training as it really does grind some NLPers up the wrong way. It doesn’t fit into their way of working at first.  I decided before hand to go in and learn with an open mind, I wasn’t even thinking about NLP.  The demo subjects struggled against the approach a bit, and some even said it made them feel a little angry. It wasn’t the therapy making them angry but their own fame of working and being totally taken out of it to the point of confusion. This was just simply brilliant work by Nick. He knew exactly what and why he was doing it even if the demo subjects didn’t. I love the fact the host asked Nick to come and do the PCW training on a NLP course, talk about throwing in a proverbial spanner in the works. Great move Tony!

I am pleased to report the demos were explained and people started, like me, to really understand to inner working to the PCW approach. Nick did four live demo’s throughout the day and each one I was captivated by Nicks work and the subject reactions and feedback. At times it was tear rolling funny, even more if the subject was trying to worm out of things a bit, Nick wanted to elicit more information and was also testing for hesitation from the client. Nick also used Ericksonian language to great effect.

When Nick adopts a different stance in the sessions it moves the client’s “Perceptual Position” which then caused the subject to react in a different way with every change in stance. Nick also used a lot of “Time Framing” work to great effect, and confusing the subject. This takes them out their frame of thought. All of these things were going on; their heads were spinning at the end of the 25 minutes. They look confused, unsure, tired and it was left like that. It was funny to watch and humour was used to great effect.

People think because it is “Provocative” then it must aggressive but this far from the truth, it is all done in friendly banter and with a twinkle in the eye. It does provoke change but in a very nice if what confusing (for the subject) way. All 4 subjects reported a change in the way the problem or ex problem was now perceived the next day in the follow-up sessions. It got the desired result for the subject. I think that is the important bit; it doesn’t really matter to subject how it happened. That is what client comes for in therapy, a good result.

This is the start of an excited journey using and exploring this PCW work with my clients to help them even more. I’m still unpacked the information from the weekend and will let you know how I’m getting on with it. I still have 2 DVD’s to study yet, so more work is going to begin. I know that my learning is just starting with this way of working but i’ve got a good feeling that this really will be a big part of any therapy I do from now on.

I know that this training will make me a better therapist, and the fact that I had solid foundation with all of my training from the beginning has also without doubt helped me get where I am today.

A big thank you to Nick Kemp for a truly wonderful weekend of learning and Tony Nutly for being a great host and all round nice guy.

Nick’s PCW Link

http://www.provocativechangeworks.com/

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog

Adam

https://www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Brain

 

The Brain

First published on December 5, 2012

 

The Cerebrum

The cerebrum or cortex is the largest part of the human brain, associated with higher brain function such as thought and action. The cerebral cortex is divided into four sections, called “lobes”: the frontal lobe, parietal lobe, occipital lobe, and temporal lobe.

What do each of these lobes do?

Frontal Lobe- associated with reasoning, planning, parts of speech, movement, emotions, and problem solving

Parietal Lobe- associated with movement, orientation, recognition, perception of stimuli

Occipital Lobe- associated with visual processing

Temporal Lobe- associated with perception and recognition of auditory stimuli, memory, and speech

The Cerebellum

The cerebellum, or “little brain”, is similar to the cerebrum in that it has two hemispheres and has a highly folded surface or cortex. This structure is associated with regulation and coordination of movement, posture, and balance.

The cerebellum is assumed to be much older than the cerebrum, evolutionarily. What do I mean by this? In other words, animals which scientists assume to have evolved prior to humans, for example reptiles, do have developed cerebellums. However, reptiles do not have neocortex.

Limbic System

The limbic system, often referred to as the “emotional brain”, is found buried within the cerebrum. Like the cerebellum, evolutionarily the structure is rather old.

This system contains the thalamus, hypothalamus, amygdala, and hippocampus. Here is a visual representation of this system, from a midsagittal view of the human brain

Thalamus
It is sort of a relay station to parts of the brain. This controls information.

Thalamus- a large mass of gray matter deeply situated in the forebrain at the topmost portion of the diencephalon. The structure has sensory and motor functions. Almost all sensory information enters this structure where neurons send that information to the overlying cortex. Axons from every sensory system (except olfaction) synapse here as the last relay site before the information reaches the cerebral cortex

Hypothalamus

This adjusts the body to keep it optimally adapted to the environment, plus also long tem memory.
Hypothalamus- part of the diencephalon, ventral to the thalamus. The structure is involved in functions including homeostasis, emotion, thirst, hunger, circadian rhythms, and control of the autonomic nervous system. In addition, it controls the pituitary.

Amygdala
Amygdala- part of the telencephalon, located in the temporal lobe; involved in memory, emotion, and fear. The amygdala is both large and just beneath the surface of the front, medial part of the temporal lobe where it causes the bulge on the surface called the uncus. This is a component of the limbic system.

Hippocampus
Hippocampus- the portion of the cerebral hemisphers in basal medial part of the temporal lobe. This part of the brain is important for learning and memory . . . for converting short term memory to more permanent memory, and for recalling spatial relationships in the world about us a coronal view of the hippocampus.

This blog is only a over view, it does not go into all area’s of the brain otherwise the blog would be 100’s if not 1000’s of pages long!!!!!

I hope it made your brain think a little deep than before !

Please Note: I am not trained in neuroscience, this is what I have read and studied.

Regards

Adam Cowming