Self Belief

Self Belief

Self Belief

What is it and why do we need it?

We demonstrate the confidence and belief we have in ourselves in a number of ways; our behaviour, our mood and even how we carry ourselves. It’s common for individuals who lack self-belief and self-confidence to find certain areas of their life affected.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

Examine your strengths, limitations and the reality of your situation honestly every day. Some days you won’t believe in yourself, and that’s OK. But if you can unpack and see where that temporary disbelief is rooted, you’ll identify what’s needed to move forward.

Moving forward ultimately leads to success, nothing more

That’s right, believing in yourself is a choice. It is an attitude you develop over time. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite any problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself.

The thing about confidence is that you get it by doing things over and over again. And while I’m not going to pretend everyone you come into contact with will be lovely and supportive if you ask for help, most people love helping others because it makes them feel good.

Always celebrate your successes and encourage yourself when you face setbacks. Building confidence does not happen overnight; it takes time for your brain to be convinced of the compliments you give yourself. Speaking comments out loud while you look back at your image in the mirror can help as it is you actually talking to yourself helps build self confidence.

You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. I learned to recognize negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would be on the lookout for these. When I caught one, I would stop it and squash it, question it then replace it with a positive one.

Regards

Adam

024 77676915 Office

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Why come to see a therapist?

Taking care of your mental health is an important step in caring for yourself as a whole. Stress, anxiety, depression, addictions, and more can all affect your day-to-day life; seeing a therapist can help you form healthy coping tactics that can improve your quality of life. In some cases, symptoms can be indicators of larger problems, and a therapist can offer insight into what may be causing them.

Therapy used to have the stigma that it was only for seriously “messed up” people. And though some of those feelings still exist, the stereotype is slowly being left behind.

Many people find that therapy also provides some unexpected benefits. When they leave, they realize they’ve gotten more than they bargained for—sort of a bonus for engaging in the experience.

The main objective is helping people relieve their symptoms and underlying issues. But if they can resolve their problem while becoming better listeners and empathizers with an ability to discuss deep issues in a way that positively impacts their inner circle, what’s the problem?

Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

Rather than seeking out therapy (men?), people will convince themselves that everything is fine. They tell themselves their sadness, worry, irritability, sleeping problems, high stress, and physical tension will dissipate independently.

The real courage comes from identifying the need for treatment and sharing this need with trusted people in your life. Shouting your symptoms across every social media platform isn’t necessary or helpful — you only have to admit the truth to yourself.

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

024 77676915

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Secondary Gain

Secondary Gain

 

Secondary gains are the “benefits” people get from NOT overcoming a problem. For many people who are stuck, secondary gains are an important mechanism in why they stay stuck. Secondary gain is usually not something people are consciously aware of e.g. generally the person is not being consciously manipulative or faking (the distress/impairment is still real).

When a client is asked what secondary gain they have by hanging on to their illness or negative behavior they are often oblivious to how their terrible struggle with the illness or behavior could benefit them in any way. In other words, they are not consciously refusing to change. Once a secondary gain is identified and brought to the conscious level it can be very insightful and life changing.

Take a moment and consider a change in your life you have repeatedly addressed with minimal progress. Challenge yourself to acknowledge how the unhealthy behavior or habit benefits you. What would you potentially lose by creating change in your life?

Sometimes the client will have no idea as to why the habit continues. It has gone unconscious become a habit an autopilot response and gone in to that part of our old brain that is concerned with survival.

Our subconscious mind or at least at part of it does seem to have a limited intelligence. This part is often called our inner child, by some. At this level of mind decisions are made that effect our lives, sometimes in huge ways.

How do we figure out whether we have secondary gain issues?

Be honest, very honest with yourself when answering this question – Am I standing in my own way? If you are getting an emotional reaction while reading this (anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow, or a sense of loss), it is very likely that your secondary gain issue is coming up.

Address it now. Remove it from your nonconscious mind remembering that your hidden mind does not want to give it up without a fight. Bring your secondary gain into your conscious mind by writing it down, journaling about it, making an audio or video recording of it, or talking to a therapist or a life coach about so that you are free to move on.

Feel free to share other ways you know of to overcome the secondary gain trap or contact me privately if you need some help.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Comfort Eating

Comfort Eating

 

Comfort eating can be a problem to some people who are trying to reduce their waist lines.

The problem is it can be a very hard cycle to break with very deep underlying reasons for the behaviour that needs to be addressed or it can continue.

Have you ever found yourself eating treats even when you are not hungry?

Or just eating far too much without wanting to stop?

Have you ever hidden food or been a secret eater?

At the time this can make you feel good, some people even get a buzz from what is an out of control feeling. So why would people like the feeling of being out of control? I have found that most people live a normal life are can control other aspects of their lives perfectly well but not their eating. The main problem is they are after a quick fix or lift in mood bought on by the sugar rush from the food. As a general rule, calories are not our enemy. The fat stored in our bodies does not come from ingesting more calories, it comes entirely from eating foods rich in sugars and carbohydrates which score high on the Glycemic Index.

So let’s look at sugar a little closer.

Simple sugars are just a few molecules of sugar molecules strung together. Sugar is in a lot of things and can affect us in many different ways.
Complex carbohydrates a many hundreds of different sugar molecules strung together
Starches – the most sugar molecules strung together
Simple sugars are lowest on the GI, Complex next, starches highest – all are however high on the GI
Carbohydrates are just long chain sugar molecules and are not necessary for human life
Saccharides is another word for carbohydrates
Carbohydrates are an immediate source of energy – useful for immediate needs in sports
Average human stores 1500g glycogen enough to run around 20miles
Fruits are best for providing the quick bursts of energy we may require such as for sport.

The problem arises normally after eating such foods. At the time of eat we often justify it or just eat and worry about it later. The thing is later comes all too soon! People can have feelings such as guilt, embarrassment, shame, low self-esteem to name a few. These feeling are worth looking at, at a deeper level with a professional therapist who will help you to explore them and understand them in a much fuller way. It is only when we look at these issues that people normal can address them and move on properly with a greater knowledge and understanding of themselves and their behaviors.

The cycle goes feel bad, eat to feel better, feel better, feel bad about eating, eat to feel better again. The thing is the feeling better will only last a very short time whereas the negative emotions can last a long time.

It can often be linked to low self-confidence and esteem or sometime to food being a comfort at an early age during difficult times in their life. For some clients I’ve seen they have said it was the one thing that never let them down and was always there for them. They had very strong associations with food and comfort eating. Food was their drug of choice.

The thing to start to thinking about is that once the negative associations are broken then food can still be enjoyed but they can cope with life in a much more positive way and yes still enjoy a treat !

Get in touch for information on how I can help you HERE.

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions

My Quick Guide.

Did you know that only 8 percent (or maybe it’s 12 percent) of people end up accomplishing their New Year’s Resolutions? That means that 92 (or 88) out of 100 New Year’s Resolutions end in “in-complete” and utter failure.

The first step of this process involves a period of self-reflection and introspection. This is a very important step because it lays down the foundations for the New Year’s Resolutions you will set for the coming 12 months. These foundations are set in place when you clearly understand where you’ve come from, what you’ve done to get here, and how your life will potentially unfold in the future as a result of these experiences.

Well, now’s your chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make, and being the charitable and caring person that I am here at, I’ve decided to give you a bit of help – because since the majority of people fail to stick to their resolution, you’ll need all the help you can get.

Send an email to your future self. Seriously, do it lets you send an email to yourself in the future at a date you specify. A great way to bridge the gap between your present and future selves is to tell your future self how your current actions will benefit yourself in the future.

Keeping a diary of your progress is a useful way to help you stay on track and see how far you’ve come. Enlisting the support of friends and family by explaining what you’re trying to achieve is another good way to help you stick to your goal.

Set your goals on a number of levels:

  • First you create your “big picture” of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve.
  • Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.
  • Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.

This is why we start the process of setting goals by looking at your lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.

It’s important to understand that the intentions you set for the New Year will never be realized if you keep living at the same level as last year. New goals require a new set of habits, rituals and beliefs. These three elements in combination will help you create the momentum you need to follow through with your intentions to attain your New Year’s Resolutions. You will therefore need to make modifications on all three levels if you desire to realize concrete long-term results. And of course, the best way to begin doing this is by raising your personal standards.

I wish you the greatest of success along this journey and the very best for the year ahead!

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

info@blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Drama Triangle

 

The Drama Triangle

 

The drama triangle is something I have seen time and time again in unhealthy relationships. It can be in new relationships or long term marriages however the people in it normally are not aware of it or are too scared to do anything about it.

So what is the drama triangle and how does it work?

There are 3 stances

Victim

This is someone who is “poor me!” Victims see themselves as victimized, oppressed, powerless, helpless, hopeless, dejected, and ashamed, and come across as “super-sensitive,”

Rescuers

The stance of the rescuer is “Let me help you!” Rescuers work hard to help and caretake other people, and even need to help other people to feel good about themselves, while neglecting their own needs or not taking responsibility for meeting their own needs.

Persecutors

The stance of the persecutor is “It’s all your fault!” Persecutors criticize and blame the victim, set strict limits, can be controlling, rigid, authoritative, angry and unpleasant. They keep the victim feeling oppressed through threats and bullying.

 

 

The victim will look and indeed attract a rescuer into their life. Once a relationship is formed then things are first seem great, the victim is getting the support and attention from the rescuer. The rescuer is feeling fulfilled because they are helping someone.

After time because the victim doesn’t really want to change from that stance, they want to stay a victim because they like the attention. They don’t really want to be rescued so they change into a persecutor role pushing the rescuer away by blaming them saying for example everything is their fault.
The rescuer then becomes the victim!

People in this relationship can and often do swap between roles of victim and persecutor continuing the cycle of the drama triangle.

If you are in this situation or recognise this pattern in your life or relationship it may be an idea to get some therapy so to look at a deeper level what causes you to act this way.

I can help with that and invite you to a free consultation, book here today.
Regards
Adam


A Client Session With Me

A Client Session

What a client session is like with me.

A client will often come and see me with no idea how I can help them with limited knowledge of Hypnotherapy.

The first thing that happens is a look at the issue and any information around that issue that maybe useful or directly linked.

I do warn some client that my methods are sometimes not the norm or what they may expect. I use lots of tools some of which seem odd if they are expecting straight forward CBT style therapy.

I can at times use provocative therapy which for the client is a bit strange and can take them out of a comfort zone or just plain confuse them to what is going on.

Everything I do in therapy is to help the client; I often will end the session at a point where the client may think it’s not finished. This is deliberate is order for the client to have time to work things out, I leave the client time to really think and to come to their own conclusions where appropriate.

I use eye movement therapy called “Blast Technique”

BLAST Technique™ is a Amygdala Desensitising Technique (ADT) which has been created and developed to work faster and more effectively with PTSD and trauma.

BLAST Technique created by Nick Davies (Bi Lateral Analysis and Stimulation Treatment) which has been developed from EMDR. When post-traumatic stress syndrome is involved, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) is better than other types of therapies.

I also use NLP and Hypnotherapy.

I have admit that a lot of the fixes are out of what people think of hypnosis.

I once had a client who I knew needed help. I was going through some process in order to help them when they stated “Can’t we just get on the with the hypnosis stuff” thinking that was the bit that would fix them but the work had already been done so I we did the hypnosis and they left thinking that’s what fixed them. I knew the fix took about 10 minutes in reality.

So to sum this blog up I work in what I think gets the client the best and fastest results although sometime in what the client may seem a strange way at time.

I do work in very traditional ways also if I think that approach is more suitable for that client.

Contact me today for your complimentary consultation.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Under Dog

The Under Dog

October 9, 2014

 

This is a bit of a strange subject I know because it’s one I’ve lived.

Let me explain and expose my true feeling and emotions on the subject.

I left school with NO exam result, NOTHING, ZERO. I started my work life as the underdog; I had to work hard for every penny in manual jobs. I did for a long time, thinking that’s my lot.

Life moves us in different directions, often not planned or even thought of. I am that person.

I was labelled at school as a “Special Needs” kid because I didn’t and still don’t learn in a traditional way, and to be fair to the teachers they were taught to teach one way and didn’t really know any other way. I know I had some great teachers but the information never really went in as it should do. Does this make me thick? NO

I’ve fought thought-out my life to become a better more educated person and I believe we are intelligent in so many different ways. I’ve seen top university students who are far more superior to me in intellect pull a door when it clearly states push and continue to do so looking a little confused.( I did laugh just a little)

I still struggled everyday with learning IF I’m not interested or if it is not presented in a way I understand, I want to bring this to you attention because as many of you know I face my fears and I don’t care that much if people agree or disagree with me. I’m writing this to help people like myself who may think they struggle to take information in.

Let me ask you a question do you look, listen of feel you understand information?

I’m a very visual person, I like to see information. I learn a lots from books and video’s however if someone gave me an audio to listen to I may not take that information in as quickly. We ALL learn in our own way. I believe that we all are intelligent. I know a builder who can’t read or write but if I need a wall building I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone else because he’s simply a brilliant bricky, I need my kitchen roof plastered ,again I will ask my friend who has done work for me in the past, will I ask him a math question or anything, NO. He can plaster and is bloody good at what he does, that to me is all I need to know. He is good at what he does and how he learnt that trade or skill is no business of mine. He works on results, the end product or finish just like me!

So I guess in summery I asking you to step back and not judge someone before you really understand and know their skills, I’m not great at spelling but I can help someone get rid of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) , I can help people to lose weight, gain control of anxiety and panic attacks among a whole list of things.

Before you judge someone have your facts and prejudging filter off because that person could be more skilled that you give them credit for.

From Adam who some people used to think I was thick and stupid, and for those of you who think I still am BRING IT ON!

Go out there and be the best you !

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

https://www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Obese Diabetes Sufferers Could Get NHS Ops

Obese Diabetes Sufferers Could Get NHS Ops

July 11, 2014

 

This was on the BBC today and thought I would write a short blog on the subject.

Hundreds of thousands of obese people with type 2 diabetes could get weight-loss surgery on the NHS, that’s up to 800,00 people !

What about the NHS spending money education to those overweight people?

I see a lot of clients on my “Weight Management Programme” and one of the key things I teach to those people is the importance of eating clean healthy food and introducing some steady regular exercise into their daily routine. The NHS would be better off spending the vast amount of money they would have spent on help those people through therapy and education in my opinion.

 

Link to BBC news story

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/obese-diabetes-sufferers-could-nhs-ops-002311753.html#ZmaSdQb

 

Most clients I see openly admit that they have allowed the weight to pile on year after year without knowing where to go and normally have no clue about nutritionally good food or they claim to know it all but never put it into practice. There is also normally a reason for the emotional over eating and comfort eating.

I think that giving so many people the operation will lead more to a situation where they won’t care about their weight or long term health because they will have a sort of get out of jail card from the NHS. If they get too fat they will just go and have the gastric band operation and forget about taking any sort of responsibly for what they eat or their own health.  After the operation they will have to be more careful so why wait until it gets to that stage.

A better idea is to get people way before then maybe a government education classes on healthy living and eating show people it’s not that hard and cost no more to eat healthy than it to eat fast food or processed crap. Set up class where they are encouraged to exercise as part of the programme.

I know that hypnotherapy is really great for weight management but there are so many other sorts of therapy open to people including psychological therapies, gym schemes, personal trainers who should know about the nutrition but to name a few.

The government doesn’t need to look too hard for professionals already out there willing to help and the money would be better spent employing those people than surgeons who are already over whelmed by the demand for this surgery.

What do you think, have your say !

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Change

Change

 

Change can be a challenging thing if we don’t have the correct guidance or resources.

That’s basically what most of my clients come to see me about , they want to change  feelings, behaviours or a habit.

To get change we need a certain number of things to happen.

We need to recognise our patterns of behaviour or thoughts. Once people become aware of these they are no longer hidden so can’t be denied any longer.

Then we need to put an alternative in place or teach the brain to react in the way the client wants as in the outcome.

I use various skills to help this to happen such as transactional analysis, provocative therapy,  Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy.

 

Here is a short video explaining change.

Warm regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk