Change

Change

Change

 

Change can be a challenging thing if we don’t have the correct guidance or resources.

That’s basically what most of my clients come to see me about , they want to change  feelings, behaviours or a habit.

To get change we need a certain number of things to happen.

We need to recognise our patterns of behaviour or thoughts. Once people become aware of these they are no longer hidden so can’t be denied any longer.

Then we need to put an alternative in place or teach the brain to react in the way the client wants as in the outcome.

I use various skills to help this to happen such as transactional analysis, provocative therapy,  Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy.

 

Here is a short video explaining change.

Warm regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Helping Our Hero’s

Helping Our Hero’s

 

Some of you may or may not know that I help our hero’s regularly within my therapy business with Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Why?

Having sat in my chair time and time again hearing the horror stories of war and how the people are fed up with the help they received or not as the case maybe.

I keep hearing the same thing that these brave men and women are not getting the correct help they need but more importantly DESERVE !

As a rule I hear they generally only get 3 to 4 therapy sessions if they are lucky which Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) based therapy, talking in other words. The problem with this approach is talking about horrific events often causes flashbacks or worsens the symptoms of PTSD and Truama. Why is the MOD continuing down this road of crap therapy?

PTSD works in a strange way which is why talking will not help at all. Trauma can get stuck in the right hemisphere of the brain so unlike other experience or memories will not be processed correctly. The memory is stuck so the brain doesn’t know what to do with it that’s why people keep reliving the trauma. Talk just makes it worse frankly.

If it was working then why is my phone still ringing with ex or servicing personal wanting help?

The problems are numerous with people with PTSD often drinking heavily or taking drugs in order to self-medicate which in turn has a massive effect or family and relationships which often will not last the strain and stress. This behaviour tends to be almost like binge drinking or drugs going off for days at a time into oblivion mode.

I can help using a combination of science backed eye movement therapy which has had up to amazing 90% success rate all over the world.

I want to help it’s my way of saying thanks and giving back, I offer a free service to military and ex-military personal which I normal run on a Saturday morning and afternoon.

Do you know someone who needs help? CLICK HERE

Share this blog and point them my way.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Provocative Change Works

 

Provocative Change Works

First published on April 15, 2013

I’ve just attended a Nick Kemp workshop called “Provocative Change Works” or PCW

I wasn’t really sure about the approach to this kind of therapy as it is something I’ve never done before. I’d seen Nick working using this method online and I just didn’t get what was going on. I knew Nick was a world-class therapist so something was going on but what?

Having found the venue in Swindon I found out that most of the attendees were doing the PCW workshop as part of their ongoing  NLP Master Practitioner course and a few like me were there to just learn about PCW. I was made to feel very much welcome by the host of the training Tony Nutley from UK College of Personal Development.

While sat listening to Nick he started the learning process in a very humoured manner explaining everything in an easy to understand way, no big unnecessary words (phew). I instantly liked the PCW approach and Nick’s relaxed yet informative manner. It was a lot of fun right from the off. Nick did the first live one to one demo session of around 25 minutes. The demo was with a real issue that Nick knew nothing about beforehand. I sat, watched and listened.

Nick then started to breakdown the session using the 27 PCW stances and explaining what and why he used one or another. I was surprised just how many times he changed stances with ease and no effort, it just seem to flow in a very natural and easy way. It was more like a chat with a mate than therapy, or that is the perception. Once the subtleties are exposed I began to see what a very simple but fantastic way of working this is.  I thought “Now this is something I can use”.

What I also found interesting is that it was put into the NLP training as it really does grind some NLPers up the wrong way. It doesn’t fit into their way of working at first.  I decided before hand to go in and learn with an open mind, I wasn’t even thinking about NLP.  The demo subjects struggled against the approach a bit, and some even said it made them feel a little angry. It wasn’t the therapy making them angry but their own fame of working and being totally taken out of it to the point of confusion. This was just simply brilliant work by Nick. He knew exactly what and why he was doing it even if the demo subjects didn’t. I love the fact the host asked Nick to come and do the PCW training on a NLP course, talk about throwing in a proverbial spanner in the works. Great move Tony!

I am pleased to report the demos were explained and people started, like me, to really understand to inner working to the PCW approach. Nick did four live demo’s throughout the day and each one I was captivated by Nicks work and the subject reactions and feedback. At times it was tear rolling funny, even more if the subject was trying to worm out of things a bit, Nick wanted to elicit more information and was also testing for hesitation from the client. Nick also used Ericksonian language to great effect.

When Nick adopts a different stance in the sessions it moves the client’s “Perceptual Position” which then caused the subject to react in a different way with every change in stance. Nick also used a lot of “Time Framing” work to great effect, and confusing the subject. This takes them out their frame of thought. All of these things were going on; their heads were spinning at the end of the 25 minutes. They look confused, unsure, tired and it was left like that. It was funny to watch and humour was used to great effect.

People think because it is “Provocative” then it must aggressive but this far from the truth, it is all done in friendly banter and with a twinkle in the eye. It does provoke change but in a very nice if what confusing (for the subject) way. All 4 subjects reported a change in the way the problem or ex problem was now perceived the next day in the follow-up sessions. It got the desired result for the subject. I think that is the important bit; it doesn’t really matter to subject how it happened. That is what client comes for in therapy, a good result.

This is the start of an excited journey using and exploring this PCW work with my clients to help them even more. I’m still unpacked the information from the weekend and will let you know how I’m getting on with it. I still have 2 DVD’s to study yet, so more work is going to begin. I know that my learning is just starting with this way of working but i’ve got a good feeling that this really will be a big part of any therapy I do from now on.

I know that this training will make me a better therapist, and the fact that I had solid foundation with all of my training from the beginning has also without doubt helped me get where I am today.

A big thank you to Nick Kemp for a truly wonderful weekend of learning and Tony Nutly for being a great host and all round nice guy.

Nick’s PCW Link

http://www.provocativechangeworks.com/

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog

Adam

https://www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


What is it like being a Hypnotherapist?

What is it like being a Hypnotherapist?

First published January 30, 2013

I get asked quite a lot from people the question above so I will try to answer the question in this blog.

I’ve come a long way in the last few years and I’ve had to make some changes to be where I am today. I was once a “track rat” working in a big car factory for 11 years until I got made redundant. I then retrained as a truck driver and worked drive all over the Midlands and UK for 4 nearly 5 years. It was during this time that I started my training which would lead me to where I am today, running my own business as a Hypnotherapist and Life Coach.

So what is it like?

I must admit the hours are good and the time spent with clients is very rewarding. I normally start my first appointments at 10am, and then work through out the day with my last appointment time at 8pm. I can see between 1 and 4 clients a day, that’s around 5 to 6 hours a day working time if I see 4 clients. Each client session can last around an hour to an hour and a half; I always allow time between clients just in case it over runs.

Most people ask “What do people come in for the most?” and I guess because I get good results my Weight Management Program is one of the things clients come for. Stop Smoking sessions is also busy and in high demand at the moment. I’ve seen clients for Anxiety, Confidence, Pain Reduction including Phantom Limbs, Insomnia,  Low moods, Additions, Stress, Personality Disorders, Anger but to name a few.

Most people think that weight loss is easy money but you would be surprised like I was that there can be many underlying factors to deal with first, it’s a little like pealing an onion. At first I peal the outer layer off until I get to the core of the issue.

The job has at times tested my skill and understanding of how we think. I’ve had to go into the trenches a few times but it has helped me to cut my teeth as the saying goes.

I’ve had funny moments as well as times when I sat and listened to stories  that really were horrific to hear but had to remain professional at all times.

I think one of the hardest parts of the job when I first started out was marketing myself and knowing what to do. This is now playing off with a great website, leaflets and good search engine results, but it has and continues to be a learning curve all the time.  I go out normally twice a week door to door with my leaflets to different areas of the city I live in Coventry. This has helped me gain new clients and then recommendations from those clients which is now starting to build my business up. I think this year I will be busier than last year if I carry on the way I’m going. My aim is to have around 10 clients a week by the end of this year.

I continue to look towards ways of improving my knowledge and go on Continual Professional Training(CPD) courses around 3 times a year, training with some great names in the field of change works and hypnotherapy. During these trainings I also get to meet and network with other hypnotherapist and trainers.  I learn so much from these events and I believe the more knowledge and skill I can learn then this in -turn will get passed onto my clients helping them move forward in life and the issues in a helpful and constructive way. The training courses normally cost around £200 to £300 but what I learn will increase my client success and there for bring more recommendation work which is great for me and the business as a whole. So I see it as an investment in myself and my business.

One of the best parts of the job is finding out how the clients have improved and moved on with things. I love a success story, only this morning I had a call off an ex clients wife thanking me for all the help I have given them. She said there life together is now so much better and can’t believe how hypnotherapy has changed their life. It was heart-warming to know I’ve helped them in some small way.

If there is something you or someone you know may need help with please pass on my details.

Regards

Adam


Ericksonian Language

Ericksonian Language

First published November 22, 2012

As therapists we have a lot of tools at our disposal, one of which is what we call Ericksonian language. I tried to think of the best way to put it and ended up looking how others described it and in the end I cheated and took it off Wikipedia and it sums it up nicely.

According to Wikipedia “Erickson believed that the unconscious mind was always listening, and that, whether or not the patient was in trance, suggestions could be made which would have a hypnotic influence, as long as those suggestions found some resonance at the unconscious level. The patient can be aware of this, or can be completely oblivious that something is happening. Erickson would see if the patient would respond to one or another kind of indirect suggestion, and allow the unconscious mind to actively participate in the therapeutic process. In this way, what seemed like a normal conversation might induce a hypnotic trance, or a therapeutic change in the subject.”

So here are some examples of what we can use during a therapy session. I put the examples in some random sentences below.

…and as you _________ you can _________.

….and as you continue to read this blog you can find it increasingly easy to remember.

I don’t know if you’ll discover ___________ .

I don’t know if you’ll discover when you use these patterns you will get a feeling of well-being.

It’s not necessary…

It’s not necessary to have fun finding out how you can use this pattern

You can begin to/continue to ___________ .

You can begin to use Ericksonian Language patterns to help improve your persuasion abilities and improve your communication skills.

You might notice…

You might notice how useful this blog is for you and for others. I wonder if you’ve considered telling all of your friends about this great blog?

Don’t be too surprised to find yourself __________ .

Don’t be too surprised to find yourself fluent in these patterns and enjoying this practice.

 There so much information on Milton and how he worked that I’ve only barely scratched the surface with this short blog.

Go and find thing out for yourself on this wonderful tool the internet!

Regards

Adam


Weight Management

Weight Management

First published November 1, 2012

This is a subject that has been covered and covered but I think some people still miss one important point about this, especially clients that I see.

It’s not about diets, exercise but the psychology……….

I prefer to use the term “Weight Management” because the term “Weight Loss” implies you have lost something and people usually want to get back something they have lost. People lose things, usually, by mistake. As long as you think of ‘losing’ weight you are making life difficult for your mind to deal with. Instead, think of “Managing” your weight.

So what happens normally?

Here is the thing, people get to a certain weight and then they hit their weight fresh hold they then diet, exercise and lose some weight for a while…… put weight on again but this time their fresh hold may slightly be more i.e. they put more weight on than the last time because they are slightly more desensitised to the extra weight before they know to do something about it!

So something happens for them so they don’t see the extra weight until it is too late and in their mind they go … Oh no!!!   This is a classic yo yo dieting strategy. My job is to help the client break this cycle and get a new positive one instead, make the client aware of what and how they are eating.

As long as the client is educated and made more aware of their eating habits they will often make the shifts and changes themselves often this is done at an unconscious level. Clients often report back to me that they can remember an event or the reason they started over eating after a session while they are back at home, this is something I don’t do in the first session but often they tell me what I need to know to help them move forward or to address in another session if they want to.

I get the client to fill in a meal diary and be totally honest with it. Some clients I found didn’t realise they ate the snacks they did between meals, what I call graze on snacks and rubbish all day still having some healthy meals, they say ” but I eat healthy and exercise but can’t shift the weight” not even being aware of all of the calorie filled snacks in-between their meals.

Some client are so used to big portions that they think it normal to have a plate piled high with food, but if someone who hasn’t got a weight issue dished up a portion to them they would think it was not enough but the fact is it would be a normal meal size.

There is no big mystery to weight management but at the same time it is big business for the clubs and they make a lot of money from seeing the same people go to the meeting week in week out. They not doubt help people and offer a valuable service but if they can’t get a person’s psychology right then they will keep repeating the old patterns time and time again year after year.

Yes I run a business also but I see clients for around 3 to 4 sessions for this and give them enough tools to deal with the problem for life, I don’t want to see them for months on end because that would mean in my eyes I haven’t done my job correctly by offering a duty of care to my clients by helping them make the shift in their life they need to in order to keep the weight off .

If you are interested in one to one help then I provide Weight Loss Hypnotherapy in Coventry.

Regard

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Body Language

Body Language

First published on October 3, 2012

This is a very important tool that all therapist and business people should be aware of or have some form of understanding of, you’d think!

Body language means communication with the movement or position of the human body. It can be conscious – or unconscious. It is important to   remember that, although body language does give you an additional channel of communication, which sometimes contradicts the spoken word, it should be interpreted with care. For one thing, body language can be affected by particular habits of the speaker. To be able to read body language is very interesting, but it can be complicated, so watch out!

As a therapist I hope I have a general understanding but I know that I don’t know everything and it an area to which I’m looking into getting a higher level of understanding. I pride myself on my ability to be able to calibrate my client’s conscious – or unconscious body language.

The eight primary elements of body language are your face, eyes, posture, gestures, voice, movement, physical appearance and touch.

Words (the literal meaning) account for 7% of the overall message

Tone of voice accounts for 38% of the overall message

Body Language accounts for 55% of the overall message

The figure 55% comes from some research that Albert Mehrabian undertook in 1971.

The ‘Mehrabian formula’ (7%/38%/55%) was established in situations where there was incongruence between words and expression.

That is, where the words did not match the facial expression: specifically in Mehrabian’s research people tended to believe the expression they saw, not the words spoken.

Mehrabian’s model is a seminal piece of work, and it’s amazingly helpful in explaining the importance of careful and appropriate communications. Like any model, care must be exercised when transferring it to different situations. Use the basic findings and principles as a guide and an example – don’t transfer the percentages, or make direct assumptions about degrees of effectiveness, to each and every communication situation.

Body language is now widely used in the field of selling, where sales personnel are trained to observe and read the body language of their potential customers. Sales personnel trained to read body language can now utilize this skill to read the subliminal cue exhibited by the customers to close a deal. Consequently, many companies such as insurance companies, direct-selling companies and international car-showrooms now engage body language experts.

I help out some workshops and it’s easy to tell who knows about body language and who doesn’t and the difference just pointing out little things to people can make them look at people very differently, often these workshop are not about body language but as therapists it will always be part of what we do so it good to help and pass on the skills we have to others. Some of the people who attend are not therapist so are not used to using these skills but are normally very fast at picking some of the very basic tips they get.

Regards

Adam Cowming

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


My Journey

My Journey

First Published August 1, 2012

Hi and welcome to my blog again.

This time around I thought I would do something slightly different than the other blogs.

I get many people who seem to ask me the same question and it always is along the same lines when they hear I’m a hypnotherapist “How did you get into that then?”

In this blog I’m attaching a video answering all of those questions.

I made the video a while ago but didn’t really do anything with it.

So here it is, just be aware there is a bit promoting some courses on it but that not to near the end. I did the video for something else and never used it that why it’s on there.

Thanks for watching

Adam Cowming

Website www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Personality Types

Personality Types

When I have clients come to see me they sometimes use phrases such as; “part of me wants X the other part of me wants Y”. This is what we call parts conflict.

So what do they mean and how do I as a therapist explain what is going on in their minds in an easy to understand down to earth format?

I tend to use the Transactional Analysis model created by Canadian-born US psychiatrist, Eric Berne. Berne devised the concept of ego states to help explain how we are made up, and how we relate to others. They categorise the ways we think, feel and behave and are called Parent, Adult, and Child. Each ego state is given a capital letter to denote the difference between actual parents, adults and children.

Parent (“exteropsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent’s actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.

Parent has 2 parts to this personality type

Nurturing – Nurturing (positive) and Spoiling (negative).

Critical – Structuring (positive) and Controlling (negative).

Physical – angry or impatient body-language and expressions, finger-pointing, patronising gestures. Sympathetic expressions, hugging, stroking.

Verbal – always, never, for once and for all, judgmental words, critical words, patronising language, posturing language. Soft, supportive voice and wording.

N.B. Beware of cultural differences in body-language that may appear ‘Parental’.

Adult (“neopsyche”): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that could affect its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA.

Adult remains as a single entity, representing an ‘accounting’ function or mode, which can draw on the resources of both Parent and Child.

While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.

Physical – attentive, interested, straight-forward, tilted head, non-threatening and non-threatened.

Verbal – why, what, how, who, where and when, how much, in what way, comparative expressions, reasoned statements, true, false, probably, possibly, I think, I realise, I see, I believe, in my opinion.

Child (“archaeopsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.

Child also has 2 parts to this personality type

Adapted – Co-operative (positive) and Compliant/Resistant (negative).

Free – Spontaneous (positive) and Immature (negative).

Physical – emotionally sad expressions, despair, temper tantrums, whining voice, rolling eyes, shrugging shoulders, teasing, delight, laughter, speaking behind hand, raising hand to speak, squirming and giggling.

Verbal – baby talk, I wish, I dunno, I want, I’m gonna, I don’t care, oh no, not again, things never go right for me, worst day of my life, bigger, biggest, best, many superlatives, words to impress.

So here is what I sometimes say to the client that these parts clash for example part of them says go and have fun

(Free Child) and other part of them says they better not do that and stay at home(Critical Parent).

I find that people who tend to listen to their “Critical Parent” too much sometimes have a lot of negative internal dialogue in their mind. Now we all have this critical side and it is an important part of us that can protect us but it can also overwhelm people as well and can be very hard to override for the client. Other people have too much “Free Child” i.e. they go and do things without thinking of the consequences at all and this can also be as bad. It is all about getting the balance right.

People who drink too much or take drugs (addicts and functioning addicts) are doing so to override the critical parent and get into the free child state, they are shutting out that critical voice/memories that may have in the past reminded them of past experiences or overly critical voices they would rather not remember.

I know I have done things many years ago in the past that when I’ve had a beer too many and I was in the free child state. I did things I wouldn’t normally do, like walk home with a traffic cone on my head. In the morning my critical parent kicked in and I have laid there in bed with a bad head slightly embarrassed thinking, why I did I do that? At the time I was having fun with my friends but in the morning I thought I was a bit silly.

If you would like to read more about this subject I would recommend you read Eric Berne’s first book called “Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy”, “I’m OK You’re OK” by Thomas A. Harris and also “Games People Play” again by Eric Berne, they can be hard going for those of you without a background in Psychotherapy but they explain things in much more depth.

Thanks for reading my blog.

Adam Cowming

Website www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Communication

Communication

May 31, 2012

Communication is an important if not the most important thing I do in my job as a therapist, there are things I hear someone say  that without my training I probably wouldn’t have  been aware of  before hand. So I thought I would tell you about them and then you can listen to people and become a better communicator.

Is there someone who you just don’t seem to click with or get on with but you wish you did?

Have you even thought that your language maybe slightly different, that they may speak using  different words to you? Yes everyone uses different words but did you know that people use Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic phrases in their everyday language and that they probably don’t even know it either?

This is what we call “Sub-Modalities in Language”, have you ever heard of this before?

Here are some examples of the language:

Visual

See, Look, View, Show, Clear, Appear, Focussed.

“You never see what I am saying to you”

Auditory

Hear, Listen, Tune in, All ears, Be heard, Rings a bell, Sound, Silence

“I hear what you are saying”

Kinaesthetic

Feel, Touch, Catch on, Hard, Get hold of, Tap into, Turn around, Unfeeling

“I feel you don’t understand me”

People are generally one of the above in their main language but will and can use a bit of everything, but as you listen to the person you will hear which they mainly use, try it!

I also listen out for the words I, Me, Self, You?

Here is an example of what I mean “I hate myself”, so if we look at that statement said “I” being the person hates “self”. I hates self so who is I and who is self?

There a lots of different thing going on with that statement but without going to deep I will leave to think about it for now.

We all use Metaphor every day in our language and some people don’t even realise they are! Are you one of those people? I know I used them but wasn’t sure why?

Originally, metaphor was a Greek word meaning “transfer”. The Greek etymology is from meta, implying “a change” and pherein meaning “to bear, or carry”. Thus, the word metaphor itself has a metaphorical meaning in English, “a transfer of meaning from one thing to another”.  So the word metaphor is a metaphor within itself.

Amusingly, in Modern Greek the word metaphor is used to refer to a cart or trolley; thus visitors to Greek airports will find themselves using metaphors to carry their luggage.

We all use them but because we don’t notice, this means we use them unconsciously this is why understanding how to use metaphor is so important as a therapist. I went on a workshop with Andrew T Austin called Metaphors of Movement which really opened my ears to another form of communication that is so powerful and a great tool to use.

With this tool I can help the client explore the metaphor and help them to solve the problem in an easy and powerful way.

What sort of metaphor can a client use?  Here is a few  examples “I feel like I’m in a big hole”, “I can’t seem to move forward”,” It’s like I’m banging my head against a wall”, “ I just can’t get over it”, so I have learned how to engage the client at a physiological and neurological level

Here is how it works

Example of the problem = What happens

Emotional response to the problem = How we feel about what happens

The consequences on the problem = The effect of what happens

The diagnosis of the problem = What we call it

I often find after exploring the metaphor more with the client they begin to see the problem in a different way and after some helping and suggestions the client can see the solution themselves. I never put words into the clients experience but suggest various phrases relevant to the clients metaphor.

I love doing this kind of therapy because the result are often very profound and powerful in helping the client move on with their life or a situation that has in some way held them back .

I hope you enjoyed reading this and it has helped you to understand the verbal communication we all use every day, when we start to listen more closely then we can really hear what the other person may or may not be saying.

If would like to learn these skills for yourself then I would advise anyone to go where I went. Nick Davies owns and runs the Warwickshire School of Hypnotherapy and is an excellent trainer. www.WSOH.co.uk

Thank you  for reading my blog.

Adam Cowming

blhypno@yahoo.co.uk

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk