It’s OK To Fail.

It’s OK To Fail.

“It’s okay to fail. It is not okay to give up.”
Clare LaMeres

There is a saying “There is no failure only results” and I kind of like it as long as it’s used in the correct context.

So why is ok to fail?

Everyone fails, EVERYONE. It’s okay to fail

Don’t be afraid to fail or get knocked back, if you are not where you what to be learn from it, take the good bits and move forward again and leave the bad bits behind.

Failing is not a problem however it becomes a problem if you are failing at the same thing repeatedly without learning a lesson from each attempt.

Have the confidence to say to yourself you will find a way around this problem.

Many of the world’s most successful people have failed many times before finding success.

Fall back on the experiences you already have, use it wisely. Everyday is a school day !

Don’t miss those lessons… because they’re critical.

Rely on the basic knowledge you already have and use that also.

By failing we learn what not to do again, we learn lesson about ourselves and life.

Anyone who tells you they have never failed is telling you BS and not worth wasting your time with. We must fail in order to succeed. It’s okay to fail

By failing we must re access the situation for within and ask powerful questions of ourselves or the people around us or team.

It doesn’t matter what the issue it’s your mental approach to it that matters.

Questions to ask

What can I learn from this situation?

and

How can I improve on what I did last time?

and

How can I grow as person from this?

Finally, stay positive, have a backup plan, and learn from whatever happens. Your failures will be sources of education and inspiration rather than humiliation.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

Failures can be blessings in disguise.

Go boldly in the direction of your dreams and goals. Don’t allow fear to stand in your way.

Adam Cowming

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Value Yourself

Value Yourself

Knowing who you are and what you value are is one of the most important things we can learn about ourselves in life.

Being who you are is critical to who you are and your growth as a person.

What is your perception of yourself?

Do you do your thing or follow others?

Are you a square peg fitting in a round hole?

Being who you want to be isn’t a crime, trying to be like someone else because we are told we need to be like that person is!

Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind!

Be your authentic self and by doing so you will identify the people you want in your life people who will encourage you love yourself and grow those are the people you want in your life become a better version of yourself

Be who you are. Be who you want to be. It means you value yourself enough to be you. When you look in the mirror do you see a person you like and love?

Be true to who you are and what you want. No should tell you what success mean to you in life or what a great life is or what you should or should not be doing with your life. What success is for one person may not be success for you. The only path is happiness or success in your like is for you to be you and life your life the way you want to.

To get the most out life sometimes we have to follow our own path, to listen yourself don’t get caught up living a life you don’t want to live. Be yourself.

Learn for others wisdom and lessons but ONLY take what works for you. Do more things that make you laugh or smile, more things to make you proud to be you. Don’t be defined by what others think of you. You are you and there will never be other you.

Kurt Cobain Quotes

I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

Being yourself will filter out those people who don’t get you and attracted those that want to be around you. People who are hating the people being real are fake people themselves and the people loving fake people are the same fake people. Real knows real and real knows fake.

Who do you want in your life fake people or real people?

BE YOURSELF because living a life trying to fit in or trying to be someone else so others will like you so you fit in “on the outside” but on “the inside” you will never be happy.

Happiness is the key in life, how happy are you on a consistent basis? We can make a different choice everyday to help to be who we are and the sort of life we want to lead.

You can change your mind anytime or overtime but keep you in mind and don’t spend time anyone or thing that drains your energy. Where you are is not as important as where you are. Defining who you are not is the first step to finding who you are. Give your energy to the positive things and people in your life the one you know support and love you.

Regards

Adam

Beatiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Life Balance

Life Balance

Everything in life has to have some balance in order to work or function.

I see clients who haven’t parts of their life quite right or have lacked the understanding to make a change.

So let look at a few examples.

The client who works too hard to make something of themselves but neglect the other things some as relaxation time or time to just switch off. If they are not giving themselves time to recharge their battery what do you think will happen?

Think of yourself like a smart phone, if you have too many apps running it will slow the phone down and also run the power of the battery down a lot faster. We need to recharge just like our phones.

There is the other side of the coin; someone who just wants to have fun is not interested in work and anything too serious in life. They have a job but don’t really want promotion just the wage at the end of the week to go out party, maybe do some drugs and meet the opposite sex and have a good time.

I’m not judging as if both parties are happy living that way then great, however in my experience something will have to give at some point and more of a balance in life created or thought about?

Could you work 60 – 70 hours a week with no life outside work, how would family suffer, relationship and friendships?

Or could you go out all the time drinking and partying 7 days a week, again there are health implications to consider among a whole host of potential issues down the line such a becoming alcohol or drug dependant.

It can relate to other area’s in life should as food I recommend 80% healthy eating and 20% a bit of what you like.

Nature is always a good place to look for balance as if it’s not correct we generally know about it and it’s massive in the news at the moment that we haven’t got it correct and need to help nature in order to regain that balance.

I find a nice walk in the countryside helps me to balance my thoughts and recharge my batteries even though I have a habit of picking tough walks sometimes. I still enjoy being in nature and away from everyday distractions.

I wonder what your life balance is like and if you can think of a way to improve it in some small way to start with?

Let me know if you require that little bit of help like I did when I was younger.

Call the office for a free consultastion 024 77676915

Regards

Adam


Why come to see a therapist?

Taking care of your mental health is an important step in caring for yourself as a whole. Stress, anxiety, depression, addictions, and more can all affect your day-to-day life; seeing a therapist can help you form healthy coping tactics that can improve your quality of life. In some cases, symptoms can be indicators of larger problems, and a therapist can offer insight into what may be causing them.

Therapy used to have the stigma that it was only for seriously “messed up” people. And though some of those feelings still exist, the stereotype is slowly being left behind.

Many people find that therapy also provides some unexpected benefits. When they leave, they realize they’ve gotten more than they bargained for—sort of a bonus for engaging in the experience.

The main objective is helping people relieve their symptoms and underlying issues. But if they can resolve their problem while becoming better listeners and empathizers with an ability to discuss deep issues in a way that positively impacts their inner circle, what’s the problem?

Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

Rather than seeking out therapy (men?), people will convince themselves that everything is fine. They tell themselves their sadness, worry, irritability, sleeping problems, high stress, and physical tension will dissipate independently.

The real courage comes from identifying the need for treatment and sharing this need with trusted people in your life. Shouting your symptoms across every social media platform isn’t necessary or helpful — you only have to admit the truth to yourself.

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

024 77676915

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Drama Triangle

 

The Drama Triangle

 

The drama triangle is something I have seen time and time again in unhealthy relationships. It can be in new relationships or long term marriages however the people in it normally are not aware of it or are too scared to do anything about it.

So what is the drama triangle and how does it work?

There are 3 stances

Victim

This is someone who is “poor me!” Victims see themselves as victimized, oppressed, powerless, helpless, hopeless, dejected, and ashamed, and come across as “super-sensitive,”

Rescuers

The stance of the rescuer is “Let me help you!” Rescuers work hard to help and caretake other people, and even need to help other people to feel good about themselves, while neglecting their own needs or not taking responsibility for meeting their own needs.

Persecutors

The stance of the persecutor is “It’s all your fault!” Persecutors criticize and blame the victim, set strict limits, can be controlling, rigid, authoritative, angry and unpleasant. They keep the victim feeling oppressed through threats and bullying.

 

 

The victim will look and indeed attract a rescuer into their life. Once a relationship is formed then things are first seem great, the victim is getting the support and attention from the rescuer. The rescuer is feeling fulfilled because they are helping someone.

After time because the victim doesn’t really want to change from that stance, they want to stay a victim because they like the attention. They don’t really want to be rescued so they change into a persecutor role pushing the rescuer away by blaming them saying for example everything is their fault.
The rescuer then becomes the victim!

People in this relationship can and often do swap between roles of victim and persecutor continuing the cycle of the drama triangle.

If you are in this situation or recognise this pattern in your life or relationship it may be an idea to get some therapy so to look at a deeper level what causes you to act this way.

I can help with that and invite you to a free consultation, book here today.
Regards
Adam


A Client Session With Me

A Client Session

What a client session is like with me.

A client will often come and see me with no idea how I can help them with limited knowledge of Hypnotherapy.

The first thing that happens is a look at the issue and any information around that issue that maybe useful or directly linked.

I do warn some client that my methods are sometimes not the norm or what they may expect. I use lots of tools some of which seem odd if they are expecting straight forward CBT style therapy.

I can at times use provocative therapy which for the client is a bit strange and can take them out of a comfort zone or just plain confuse them to what is going on.

Everything I do in therapy is to help the client; I often will end the session at a point where the client may think it’s not finished. This is deliberate is order for the client to have time to work things out, I leave the client time to really think and to come to their own conclusions where appropriate.

I use eye movement therapy called “Blast Technique”

BLAST Technique™ is a Amygdala Desensitising Technique (ADT) which has been created and developed to work faster and more effectively with PTSD and trauma.

BLAST Technique created by Nick Davies (Bi Lateral Analysis and Stimulation Treatment) which has been developed from EMDR. When post-traumatic stress syndrome is involved, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) is better than other types of therapies.

I also use NLP and Hypnotherapy.

I have admit that a lot of the fixes are out of what people think of hypnosis.

I once had a client who I knew needed help. I was going through some process in order to help them when they stated “Can’t we just get on the with the hypnosis stuff” thinking that was the bit that would fix them but the work had already been done so I we did the hypnosis and they left thinking that’s what fixed them. I knew the fix took about 10 minutes in reality.

So to sum this blog up I work in what I think gets the client the best and fastest results although sometime in what the client may seem a strange way at time.

I do work in very traditional ways also if I think that approach is more suitable for that client.

Contact me today for your complimentary consultation.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Mountain of Life

The Mountain of Life

December 22, 2014

 

I love climbing peaks and mountains, I done a fair bit of it over the past years and will carry on in the New Year. I see the mountains as a metaphor for life in many ways, for my life and also many people around me.

In life we can find just like a mountain arriving at a place that we can be unsure of or a little overwhelmed, it can seem such a task or so far to the end goal that we get natural feeling and some feel like running away and hiding, turning around convincing ourselves that we can’t or won’t attempt the mountain or challenge.  We don’t want to take something on that seems too big or may beat us. I can think of a few thing in my life this year that have put me to the test on a personal scale that made me so nervous and yes I had the scary feeling that I didn’t know what to do straight away I had to think about the decisions along the way go for it.

When I arrive at the base of a mountain or peak I know that it going to be an uphill struggle and there will be places where it becomes a challenge even scary but I know in my mind I must forge on like many walkers and hikers have done before me. The path is well trodden so I know it can be done even if it takes me a little while to get going.

Mountains and peak are not always all uphill there be times when the path runs flat and smooth, a time to get my breath back and reflect on life a little. Just like life is O.K. to stop and have a little break to access how far you have come and how far to have to go. The important thing is to get going again, put one foot in front of the other and try to see what ‘s a head the best you can you can.  Some of the more challenging uphill climbs are hard and to try to take them on with some little stops on the way would be tough, so give yourself a break if you need one and don’t be so hard on yourself.

I’ve often got to the top of a mountain or peak and because of the weather seen well not a lot. Some people moan that what’s the point walking up there to see nothing but cloud or mist. For me I get a sense of inner peace that I is really special to me, you see it not about  getting to the top for me it’s the steps I took along the way. When I can see the view its spectacular and breath-taking in its sheer beauty and a bonus at the top.

When times are hard or difficult we often forget that life is a journey and that it doesn’t always go the way we want. It takes guts to hang in there and see the hard times though but the lessons we learn from that tough time is well learn and so valuable that it needs to be appreciated for what it was or is.  There is no growth in comfort so being uncomfortable is a way of learning about ourselves and becoming better people through it.

It take me a while sometimes to see the greatest of lessons that life has taught me.

Over this Christmas and New Year be nice to people you meet ,smile and enjoy the moments you have no matter how small they may be.

Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year and let make 2015 the best year yet !

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

https://www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Obese Diabetes Sufferers Could Get NHS Ops

Obese Diabetes Sufferers Could Get NHS Ops

July 11, 2014

 

This was on the BBC today and thought I would write a short blog on the subject.

Hundreds of thousands of obese people with type 2 diabetes could get weight-loss surgery on the NHS, that’s up to 800,00 people !

What about the NHS spending money education to those overweight people?

I see a lot of clients on my “Weight Management Programme” and one of the key things I teach to those people is the importance of eating clean healthy food and introducing some steady regular exercise into their daily routine. The NHS would be better off spending the vast amount of money they would have spent on help those people through therapy and education in my opinion.

 

Link to BBC news story

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/obese-diabetes-sufferers-could-nhs-ops-002311753.html#ZmaSdQb

 

Most clients I see openly admit that they have allowed the weight to pile on year after year without knowing where to go and normally have no clue about nutritionally good food or they claim to know it all but never put it into practice. There is also normally a reason for the emotional over eating and comfort eating.

I think that giving so many people the operation will lead more to a situation where they won’t care about their weight or long term health because they will have a sort of get out of jail card from the NHS. If they get too fat they will just go and have the gastric band operation and forget about taking any sort of responsibly for what they eat or their own health.  After the operation they will have to be more careful so why wait until it gets to that stage.

A better idea is to get people way before then maybe a government education classes on healthy living and eating show people it’s not that hard and cost no more to eat healthy than it to eat fast food or processed crap. Set up class where they are encouraged to exercise as part of the programme.

I know that hypnotherapy is really great for weight management but there are so many other sorts of therapy open to people including psychological therapies, gym schemes, personal trainers who should know about the nutrition but to name a few.

The government doesn’t need to look too hard for professionals already out there willing to help and the money would be better spent employing those people than surgeons who are already over whelmed by the demand for this surgery.

What do you think, have your say !

Regards

Adam

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Books.

February 3, 2014

 

People often ask me what sort of books or study I do, or they  ask what book I would recommend for self-help and improvement.

Well there are many questions like that and many good books on the subject, far too many write about in one blog.

What I’ve decided to do is just to tell you about a few of my favourite books that have helped me and given me the greater knowledge and I hope they will do for you too.

Anthony Robbins – Unlimited Power

This book was one of the first books I read that started to help me to understand how to change my own mind set and even perceptions around what I could achieve. I have read it a number of times and still love to pick it up and flick through it. He also wrote Awaken The Giant Within which he wrote before Unlimited Power but I read this after, possibly the wrong way around but it was still well worth reading this also is very inspirational for me giving answers and helping to believe in myself more. I recommend anything by Robbins

Mapping The Mind – Rita Carter

The best book and maybe the only one you will need until she brings out her next book on the brain and how it works. It is simply packed full of case studies and simple yet fully explains everything it very reader friendly way, in other word you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to understand this book. It will help you to understand this at times complicated subject. We all have a brain so why find out how that thing between our ears works !

I’m OK You’re OK – Thomas A Harris

This book was key to me getting to grips with the Parent- Adult- Child model of the personality otherwise known as Transactional Analysis. This book can get a little heavy and will take a little more reading but once you understand it , it opens up a completely new understanding of how we work and way we act, feel and say the thing we do sometimes.

Change Your Mind And Keep The Change – Steve & Connirae Andreas

This is another powerful book written by the brilliant Steve & Connirae. It is based on some advanced NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming). This book gives different strategies to deal with issues and problem in life. It is written in a very easy to understand way. The name Andreas within my industry is a haul mark of quality and knowledge and together this family has done a great deal to advance the field of personal change and NLP.

 The Rainbow Machine – Andrew T Austin

Tales from a neurolinguist’s journal is how Andrew has presented this little gem. I’ve trained with Andrew on a few occasions and his humour yet knowledge is a great joy to listen to. In this book he recounts some of his more memorable cases and events. Some will make you laugh; some will make you gasp in horror. He has a very different approach to many therapist and to be honest it very refreshing. It really is worth a read.

Free Will – Sam Harris

If you think you have a free will then this book will make you rethink your beliefs on this subject. It is very interesting and intelligently written. It will only take you about a hour or so to read but is well worth the time.

What am I reading at the moment?

Phantoms In The Brain – V S Ramachandran…..and so far it’s been a great brilliantly interesting neurological read. I ‘m about a 1/3 of the way through it.

I hope you enjoy the books if you decide to expand your knowledge.

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

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The Comfort Zone

January 6, 2014

The Comfort Zone

Do you spent a lot of time in your comfort zone? It is nice and safe and we don’t have to do what we don’t really want to do!

However, is that useful or healthy?

I’d like you to think back to the last lesson you really learnt in your life, have a good think.

At the time was that an easy or hard lesson to learn?

I’ve found in my life and speaking to people, the general feeling on this subject is that we only learn real lesson when in life things are not going so well, our backs are against the wall so to speak.

The great thing is we come though those times with some information of great value even if at the time it life seemed to be very hard or you were in a tough situation.

We spend a lot of time in our comfort zones day to day and that makes us very unsure of dipping our toes outside of it, it’s a bit scary at times. You may have to face your fears or do something you wouldn’t normal have or like to do. For some people that can be speaking up to the boss or applying for a new job. We make our comfort zones so you will know where yours is and what things may be outside of that.

This time of year lot of people are thinking about stepping out of their zone, for example if you want to get fit going to the gym can seem very intimidating because people think they are full of thin fit looking people and they will look silly or out of place. The reality is most people are plugged into their MP3 players and are uninterested who is around them.

Geoff Thompson has a great saying “There is no growth in comfort.” I have to say I agree on a person level. I had to learn lots of hard lessons and step out of my cosy comfort zone. It has made me the person I am. My comfort zone is now bigger but I know I need to keep stepping outside that and challenging myself to continue my growth.

A perfect example of this is doing this is training courses. When I started learning NLP, Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy I had to step the furthest out of my comfort zone that I have done for a while.

Why?

I had old limiting beliefs that I couldn’t learn easily and was a bit thick. I had many wonderful wobbles and near melt downs on that journey and now I’m so glad it was hard because the wonderful reward that is now the job I love means so much more to me.

I regularly go on training courses with some of the best know trainer s in the UK and the world, guess what to do this I have to step out of that nice comfort zone and a mix with some highly intelligent people which always makes me wobble a bit! But I know I have to push myself and go, it gives me so much growth and inner self belief after the courses. Yes I was feeling nervous and apprehensive. I think to myself, will I be brainy enough to understand everything or will I ask the right questions without sounding stupid?

The reality is yes I can mix with these people and hold a conversation without them looking at me for sounding silly. My training and continue study and self-development has pushed me to become a person of knowledge and someone who will continue to push myself to feel uncomfortable in order to grow as a person.

How do you promote growth in your life?

If you want one to one help please contact me.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk