Value Yourself

Value Yourself

Value Yourself

Knowing who you are and what you value are is one of the most important things we can learn about ourselves in life.

Being who you are is critical to who you are and your growth as a person.

What is your perception of yourself?

Do you do your thing or follow others?

Are you a square peg fitting in a round hole?

Being who you want to be isn’t a crime, trying to be like someone else because we are told we need to be like that person is!

Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind!

Be your authentic self and by doing so you will identify the people you want in your life people who will encourage you love yourself and grow those are the people you want in your life become a better version of yourself

Be who you are. Be who you want to be. It means you value yourself enough to be you. When you look in the mirror do you see a person you like and love?

Be true to who you are and what you want. No should tell you what success mean to you in life or what a great life is or what you should or should not be doing with your life. What success is for one person may not be success for you. The only path is happiness or success in your like is for you to be you and life your life the way you want to.

To get the most out life sometimes we have to follow our own path, to listen yourself don’t get caught up living a life you don’t want to live. Be yourself.

Learn for others wisdom and lessons but ONLY take what works for you. Do more things that make you laugh or smile, more things to make you proud to be you. Don’t be defined by what others think of you. You are you and there will never be other you.

Kurt Cobain Quotes

I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

Being yourself will filter out those people who don’t get you and attracted those that want to be around you. People who are hating the people being real are fake people themselves and the people loving fake people are the same fake people. Real knows real and real knows fake.

Who do you want in your life fake people or real people?

BE YOURSELF because living a life trying to fit in or trying to be someone else so others will like you so you fit in “on the outside” but on “the inside” you will never be happy.

Happiness is the key in life, how happy are you on a consistent basis? We can make a different choice everyday to help to be who we are and the sort of life we want to lead.

You can change your mind anytime or overtime but keep you in mind and don’t spend time anyone or thing that drains your energy. Where you are is not as important as where you are. Defining who you are not is the first step to finding who you are. Give your energy to the positive things and people in your life the one you know support and love you.

Regards

Adam

Beatiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


“Coventry Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy Conference 2019”

I thought I’d let you know my experience of speaking at this conference and the other speakers at the event set up by Nick Davies of The Warwickshire School of Hypnotherapy.

So the first speaker of the day was who I will describe as a real gentleman with a wealth of knowledge. Steven Blake who talked about his methods of dealing with pain and his system called “Oldpain2go”.

I’d heard really good things and was certainly intrigued by the method and thoughts behind it, I wasn’t disappointed. I loved the approach and application of the techniques which was demonstrated by Steven in a master class of elegance and skill. Steven has a real passion for helping people and that shone through in his presentation.  I will certainly be training in this, I was up next and what a tough act to follow!

I spoke about my approach and thoughts on “Weight Management” using my unique approach which is a little different from tradition.  I shared my finding on “What, How and Why” people eat and also the relation to digesting information going into Transactional Analysis, Metaphor work and the provocative style I use with some more challenging clients.

I really enjoyed the experience and hope the other delegates and speakers enjoyed my contribution and challenging methods.

The next speaker was someone I know, my friend, mentor, supervisor and organiser of the conference, Nick Davies.

Nick presentation was on PTSD and Trauma which he has featured in many media publications and radio. He is known as “The PTSD Whisper” and is in my opinion the go to guy on this subject.

Nick has all the neurology to back up his BLAST® Technique and his presenting style is very polished he is very easy to listen to also eager to answer any questions on the subject. His passion is clear and knowledge is outstanding. Nick is world class and once again proved it with a demonstration of his skill with people. I never fail to learn when around Nick.

Next up was Christopher Paul Jones also known as “The Breakthrough Expert” and also has been featured on TV and media and is very charismatic.

Christopher spoke on fears and phobia’s and has a deep knowledge on the subject interacting with the audience and sharing some great tips and tricks to deal with any issues client have. The presentation was slick and professional incorporating a real personal story of his fear of flying and how he overcame this. Chris also did a live demo which was very good helping someone with a fear of dogs.

Big Darren Housley was next talking on more of the business side of therapy, Practice Building. Darren is probably the busiest therapist I know seeing up to 30 clients a week in Yorkshire. Darren’s presentation was delivered with humour and knowledge. This is an area which is neglected by some therapist so the information was of great value and I think we all learned a great deal from it. It’s great to see a person with a passion for helping as many people as he can succeed and also so free with his inside knowledge so other can gain from that. He held nothing back and was very open and honest with any questions from the delegates and another true gent of this profession.

Last but not least was Colin T Fisher someone new to me and talking on the subject “Law of Attraction”.  I must admit I used to be a little sceptical on this subject however I always approach anything with an open mind.  Colin certain has a lot of energy when presenting and had us all in the right vibe. He presentation talked a lot about what he thought was missing from a lot of LOA stuff and I must admit I liked him from the off. I’m certainly going to put into practice what he taught as a lot of it was good advice that made sense, none of the fluffy nonsense, it also helped he is a very good business man so lives in the real world and shared his successes and failures with us. He is also was a bloody nice bloke.

All in all the day was a great success. I look forward to next year’s conference which I’m sure will be bigger, better (If that’s possible!) and with more speakers.

Adam Cowming

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk 024 77676915


Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy

So what do I mean by the title of this blog “Take The Anxiety Out Of Therapy”?

I believe that is a lot of uncertainty when seeking help from a therapist.

I see clients all the time who come to see me with a lot of anticipation of what’s going to happen and generally the whole therapy process / experience.  There is still a stigma attached to seeking help in the UK where people consider themselves weak for asking for help.

I also believe this sigma is incorrect in fact in my opinion it takes a great deal of strength to realise you need help and to make that call to someone like myself and why I intend to help as many people as I can.

I think therapy should in most cases be like talking to an old friend where the client feels relaxed, at ease and most of all understood and listened to!

I also work in a way that incorporates humour where appropriate and make it fun, as a therapist I find this greatly improves the session for myself and the client.

I take away all the mystery and big so called intelligent words and talk and explain everything in a down to earth manner just like I would expect if I were a client.

If you have any questions please contact me.

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy Coventry


Addiction

Addiction

 

This is a big subject with so much information and opinions out there that I am going to glide over it because it impossible for me to go to in-depth without baffling or boring you.

The most common addiction I see are smoking, alcohol, food, drugs and gambling. I’m am not allowed to treat alcoholics/drugs takers without their doctors permission but I do get people who want to control or stop their intake more before it becomes a problem.

Why do people get addicted?

In my experience it is because they are trying to replace something they have lost or never had in their life. Look at some of the fallen stars in the world; they are replacing all the fame and attention. They need a buzz. The latest research is saying that the brain of addicts does not produce enough dopamine and the substance that the addict is using i.e. drugs bridges that gap in the chemical imbalance.

There are people trying to forget a past event or events in life. People who have suffered abuse or have had a horrible childhood for example because it blocks the memories coming through, others have never felt worthy or love.

There are people who have addictive personalities who try something and find hard to stop. Some people hit the self-destruct button and will find anything to do.

The thing that is common is that they can hide the addiction very well to the point even the close family won’t know, they can become very deceptive and defensive if they suspect anyone knows. It’s well known that alcoholics will hide the bottles of booze around the house and even in the garden.

 

I want to tell you about a good friend of mine in fact he was my best friend for many years. I knew Craig most of my life, we lived a street apart, attended the same school and knew a lot of the same people. Craig and I became firm friends when we met again at a local social club when I was 16-17 and from then were like brothers in arms. I never saw Craig as having a problem; we went out most nights for 3 or 4 pints and a game of snooker for many years until we started working shifts, yes in the same factory. So we worked, drank and socialized together. Craig was always a bit of a lad, he did nothing bad but liked a joint and a drink which at the time I also took part in, a decision I now regret deeply. He always seemed to push it more than anyone else, for example last orders at the bar he would order 2 pints and chasers where as I would maybe have a pint. He smoked the strongest cannabis he could get, I never really used to smoke it on my own only with friends but Craig smoked every day. Craig got married to a lovely girl and bought a house, they had a beautiful daughter Chloe whom he adored. All this time his drinking was getting worse. He would drink Rum/Vodka and strong Cider. No one ever suspected it was becoming a problem with the exception of this then wife.

The car factory where we worked closed and we were all made redundant and Craig hit the self-destruct button and his drinking got so bad that the marriage broke down and he moved out. He drank until he couldn’t feel any more pain, the marriage break up hurt him but it was his drinking that caused it. He was in complete denial about everything. Over the next couple of years Craig carried on drinking causing him to be admitted to hospital of many occasions for detox then coming out a straight back on the drink. I tried to help and so did many others, in the end I found myself having no choice but to distance myself from him. I just couldn’t watch him kill himself, I did sit down and tell him this but again because of the drink I don’t think he could remember me doing this.

Craig died.

Sat here now a good few years or so after his death I still miss my mate and yes I have tears in my eyes writing this.

I did not have the skills and knowledge I have now or I would have tried to help and get him through it.

Addition has touched me and Craig’s family in a way I hope it never does for you.

If you feel something in your life is getting out of hand or you need a little help please get in touch and always consult with your doctor. Taking the first step to getting help is an important one, and then the real work begins, the WHY? It will be a hard and often emotional time but it is part of the healing process and without it, it will be hard to move on in life.

Please contact me HERE for your free consultation or further information

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety and Panic Attacks

First published May 22, 2013

Over the last few weeks and months I’ve seen a big increase though my therapy practise of people suffering anxiety or panic attacks.

A lot of people complain of very similar symptoms such as racing heart beat and a feeling on being on edge all of the time among other things.

So what happening to cause people to feel like this?

First of all it will be more than likely start with something internally like negative dialog, which will create a picture in the mind. These two things together then create or start the process of creating a negative and most unwelcome feeling.

So the process starts at a neurological level in the brain.  It could be argued that anxiety itself is its own neurological symptom. After all, anxiety can change neurotransmitter levels in your brain causing them to send unusual signals to the rest of your body that  actually effect all your nervous systems and causes real sensations/symptoms.

The forebrain is the area most affected in people with anxiety and panic attacks disorders. The limbic system, which is involved in storing memories and creating emotions, is also thought to play a central role in processing all anxiety-related information. Both the locus coeruleus and the dorsal raphe project to the septohippocampal circuit, which in turn projects to other areas of the limbic system that mediate anxiety. The hippocampus and amygdala are of particular importance, as they are interconnected and also project to both subcortical and cortical nuclei. The amygdala fires off the fight, flight or freeze reaction in the brain then floods the body with adenine. It is the increased activity of the amygdala that causes the symptoms of anxiety and panic. It acually happens like this freeze, fight or flight.

Normally after each anxiety event, the amygdala resets itself to a normal level. But if we continue to experience anxiety or stress over a long period of time, our amygdala is modified and becomes fixed at a high anxiety level. In other words it is in the on position and needs to be switched off.

So it is a very real problem for some people. I think that a panic attack is anxiety but a much stronger reaction, anxiety that has been allowed to grow and become somewhat out of control. A friend who was a nurse in A&E in a local hospital said that 99% of people admitted to hospital who think they are having a heart attack are actually experiencing a panic attack

Anxiety and panic attacks can be cause by increased stress and inadequate coping mechanisms may contribute to anxiety.

One of the best ways to help yourself is to try deep breathing exercise every day for around 10 – 15 minutes at time.

How to do Deep Breathing Exercises:

  1. Find somewhere comfortable where you will not be disturbed during the exercise, if necessary tell who you live with family etc than you don’t want to be disturbed and to be considerate to your needs.
  2. Lie down or sit in a comfy chair, place your hands on your lower stomach. Breathe in through your nose so that your stomach rises, this mean than you will be breathing from the bottom of the lungs not the top. Hold the breath for a couple of seconds then slowly breathe out.
  3. Repeat these 3 or 4 times then allow your breathing to go back to normal.
  4. Concentrate on different parts of the body allowing these to relax one by one starting with the top of your head and working all the way down to the tips of your toes. Image you are in a wonderfully relaxing a safe place, I like to think of myself lying on a beach sunbathing.
  5. Just allow yourself 10 to 15 minutes of relaxing this way every day making part of your lifestyle. Try not to fall asleep as relaxation is different to sleep so you don’t want to associate relaxing with going to sleep although you may find it hard not too drop off at first.

If you feel you need a little more help then please contact me via the website or the office telephone number. www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk or contact me HERE

I am available for one to one or Skype (adam.cowming) therapy sessions if you can’t get to my office in person.

Regards

Adam


My Glass Shield

My Glass Shield

First published on March 21, 2013

My Glass Shield

Please note :This post may upset some people who have been affected in their life by suicide.

I’m big believer in sharing my life experience with people.

In my day-to-day therapy sessions I can see anything from client who wish to stop smoking though to less pleasant things, trust me there is not a lot I’ve not heard in my room.

What I believe makes me a good therapist is the ability to step away emotionally when I need to but still have a real understanding and empathy for the client.

I find this is the best way for me as I can see things more clearly and as it should be from a neutral perspective. I do this by having an imaginary  glass shield between me and the client(in my mind) which allows me the see, hear and help the client without getting unconsciously draw in. It is very important not too get to involved and personal with situation or it will cloud judgement and the therapy will not be as successful.

Why?

Well sometime client have had a very upsetting and traumatic event that they want help with so although I want to help them 100% I have to be careful. This is not cold or uncaring but a safety net for me. I can still help and care for the client but from a safe position thus allowing myself and client to process the experience the best they can.

How does it help me?

I going to tell you a true story which happened on Wednesday 07/10/2012. Please note this is NOT a nice subject.

I had just got up at 08:30am and my front door bell rang. Stood at the door was a worried looking man dressed in a high visual tabard and muddy work boots. He asked me “Have you seen Mark” my neighbour from next door. I replied “Not for a few days”.

He said Mark had not turned up for work today and also never rang in which he always had done in the past.  They worked for a local company delivering skips.

He told me he had knocked on the door and there was no answer.

Did I notice anything unusual? I said Mark garage light was on late but as he owned and raced car I thought he was messing around as he normally did when he got home from work. It was normal for him to work late into the evenings some times to prepare the car for the next race meeting.

We agreed we should go over my garden wall all see if we can see anything though the kitchen window, at which point we saw the garage light still on. I agreed to go and take a look in the garage. I knocked, no answer?

I said l will go in, the second I opened the door I was hit by the fumes from a car. I thought this doesn’t smell great. I was right. I told myself to put my “glass shield” up and switch off go into therapy mode, just in case! As I entered the garage there was a plastic sheet over the entrance. I pulled this back and looked around. I saw Mark in the corner of the garage on the floor. He was very still. I couched down and said his name, nothing. I gave him a little shove, again nothing. I checked his neck and wrist for a pulse and notice how cold he was. No pulse.

I was more than aware of his mate now inside the garage door, as he asked “Is he O.K.?” I said I had found him and to call 999 for the ambulance and police. “Is he bad?” I said something like “I want you to be aware you are calling 999 because we have too. Not to help him, he is not going to get any worse and looks very peaceful. There is nothing more we can do for him now” I needed the lad to process the fact that Mark had passed and still call on the phone. I said we should leave and wait outside for the police etc.

Mark had taken his life. The crime scene investigators confirmed this Mark had gassed himself using the car (I think). I never heard the car on the previous night which normally I can, it’s a loud race car?

The police and ambulance arrived within a few minutes and confirmed what we already knew. He had been dead for many hours, maybe 12. Rigour mortis had set in already.

Over the next few hours people came and went and finally the family came to pay their respects and mourn in each other’s arms. I passed on my condolences and went into my house.

Sometime we all need a glass shield and be honest I’m glad I have mine some days!

I’m now checking myself daily for signs of trauma or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), I know it can pop out and bite me on the arse if I ignore it. I am very aware of the signs as I’ve seen it as a therapist many times and have taken training course on the subject I’ve asked the people around me to watch and keep an eye on me. If I see, hear or feel anything I’m not happy with I will be straight over my friend and mentors house and process it using a technique called EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) which I use myself on clients among other very powerful therapy tools.

I know this wasn’t a happy  post but thought it was an important one to write.

If you are suffering from any form of Trauma or PTSD please contact someone and get the help you need.

Thanks

Adam