Secondary Gain

  • Home
  • TagUnconscious mind

Secondary Gain

Tags :

Category : Uncategorized

Secondary Gain

Secondary gains are the “benefits” people get from NOT overcoming a problem. For many people who are stuck, secondary gains are an important mechanism in why they stay stuck. Secondary gain is usually not something people are consciously aware of e.g. generally the person is not being consciously manipulative or faking (the distress/impairment is still real).

When a client is asked what secondary gain they have by hanging on to their illness or negative behavior they are often oblivious to how their terrible struggle with the illness or behavior could benefit them in any way. In other words, they are not consciously refusing to change. Once a secondary gain is identified and brought to the conscious level it can be very insightful and life changing.

Take a moment and consider a change in your life you have repeatedly addressed with minimal progress. Challenge yourself to acknowledge how the unhealthy behavior or habit benefits you. What would you potentially lose by creating change in your life?

Sometimes the client will have no idea as to why the habit continues. It has gone unconscious become a habit an autopilot response and gone in to that part of our old brain that is concerned with survival.

Our subconscious mind or at least at part of it does seem to have a limited intelligence. This part is often called our inner child, by some. At this level of mind decisions are made that effect our lives, sometimes in huge ways.

How do we figure out whether we have secondary gain issues?

Be honest, very honest with yourself when answering this question – Am I standing in my own way? If you are getting an emotional reaction while reading this (anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow, or a sense of loss), it is very likely that your secondary gain issue is coming up.

Address it now. Remove it from your nonconscious mind remembering that your hidden mind does not want to give it up without a fight. Bring your secondary gain into your conscious mind by writing it down, journaling about it, making an audio or video recording of it, or talking to a therapist or a life coach about so that you are free to move on.

Contact me for a free consultation 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

The Last Resort

Tags :

Category : Uncategorized

The Last Resort

I often hear from new client that hypnotherapy is the last resort and that they have tried everything else until someone mentioned ringing a hypnotherapist because they or someone they know has been to see one and it worked on that issue.

So why is hypnotherapy seen by the general public as a last resort?

I believe it’s because they are afraid we can take over their minds, there are a lot of myths and hearsay out there that just isn’t based on any truth.

They may have seen a stage hypnosis show and think that is what happens and they may be made to feel silly. I for one love watching a good stage hypnosis show and have some good friends who are great stage hypnotist but who are equally good therapists as well. My friends do the show and I know for a fact they get therapy work from those show. The shows are more about show what the human mind is capable of and having a little fun along the way. I believe that the stage shows are a good thing as long as they are done correctly which I know all my friends do and do to a very high standard.

I like to see a client after the first session to see what difference it has made, normally there has been a mental unconscious shift to allow the client to gain more control in that area of their life that wanted the help with. Some clients it can be a very subtle change but one they have noticed between sessions or others they come in and say that they can’t believe the difference one or two sessions has made to their life.

The modern hypnotherapist has moved on from some of the public perception of swinging pocket watches.  I personally study things like neurology to get a better understanding of how the human mind works and reacts to certain things. I study modern psychology to learn about behaviours and how new thinking is progressing on these matters. I like to look at new and existing idea’s, I also study from some of the people who came up with some of these idea’s years ago as I believe there is always a value to learning something new or indeed going back over things again. I certainly don’t know it all and never will, but I’m happy to continue my learning wherever that may take me.

I use all of my knowledge to help my clients get the best results for them. I’m not saying I can help 100% of the people through my door but I have a good success rate and referral rate from past clients.

For a free consultation contact me on 024 75098634 or click HERE

Regards

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

What is it like being a Hypnotherapist?

Tags :

Category : Uncategorized

What is it like being a Hypnotherapist?

I get asked quite a lot from people the question above so I will try to answer the question in this blog.

I’ve come a long way in the last few years and I’ve had to make some changes to be where I am today. I was once a “track rat” working in a big car factory for 11 years until I got made redundant. I then retrained as a truck driver and worked drive all over the Midlands and UK for 4 nearly 5 years. It was during this time that I started my training which would lead me to where I am today, running my own business as a Hypnotherapist and Life Coach.

So what is it like?

I must admit the hours are good and the time spent with clients is very rewarding. I normally start my first appointments at 10am, and then work through out the day with my last appointment time at 8pm. I can see between 1 and 4 clients a day, that’s around 5 to 6 hours a day working time if I see 4 clients. Each client session can last around an hour to an hour and a half; I always allow time between clients just in case it over runs.

Most people ask “What do people come in for the most?” and I guess because I get good results my Weight Management Program is one of the things clients come for. Stop Smoking sessions is also busy and in high demand at the moment. I’ve seen clients for Anxiety, Confidence, Pain Reduction including Phantom Limbs, Insomnia,  Low moods, Additions, Stress, Personality Disorders, Anger but to name a few.

Most people think that weight loss is easy money but you would be surprised like I was that there can be many underlying factors to deal with first, it’s a little like pealing an onion. At first I peal the outer layer off until I get to the core of the issue.

The job has at times tested my skill and understanding of how we think. I’ve had to go into the trenches a few times but it has helped me to cut my teeth as the saying goes.

I’ve had funny moments as well as times when I sat and listened to stories  that really were horrific to hear but had to remain professional at all times.

I think one of the hardest parts of the job when I first started out was marketing myself and knowing what to do. This is now playing off with a great website, leaflets and good search engine results, but it has and continues to be a learning curve all the time.  I go out normally twice a week door to door with my leaflets to different areas of the city I live in Coventry. This has helped me gain new clients and then recommendations from those clients which is now starting to build my business up. I think this year I will be busier than last year if I carry on the way I’m going. My aim is to have around 10 clients a week by the end of this year.

I continue to look towards ways of improving my knowledge and go on Continual Professional Training(CPD) courses around 3 times a year, training with some great names in the field of change works and hypnotherapy. During these trainings I also get to meet and network with other hypnotherapist and trainers.  I learn so much from these events and I believe the more knowledge and skill I can learn then this in -turn will get passed onto my clients helping them move forward in life and the issues in a helpful and constructive way. The training courses normally cost around £200 to £300 but what I learn will increase my client success and there for bring more recommendation work which is great for me and the business as a whole. So I see it as an investment in myself and my business.

One of the best parts of the job is finding out how the clients have improved and moved on with things. I love a success story, only this morning I had a call off an ex clients wife thanking me for all the help I have given them. She said there life together is now so much better and can’t believe how hypnotherapy has changed their life. It was heart-warming to know I’ve helped them in some small way.

If you wish to train as a Hypnotherapist then speak to Nick Davies at The Warwickshire School of Hypnotherapy

If there is something you or someone you know may need help with please pass on my details or contact me HERE

Regards

Adam

Fears and Phobia’s

Tags :

Category : Uncategorized

I’ll explain Fears and Phobia’s in a easy to understand way in. this blog

A fear or phobia is an intense fear of something that, in reality, poses little or no actual danger. Common phobias and fears include closed-in places, heights, highway driving, flying insects, snakes, and needles. However, we can develop phobias of virtually anything.

If you have a any fears or phobia’s, you probably realize that your fear is unreasonable, yet you still can’t control your feelings. Just thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious. And when you’re actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror can be automatic and overwhelming.

So what is really going on?

I will use spiders as an example simply because it’s that time of year when I start to get more spider phobia phone calls as they start to come in for in colder months.

First people will see a spider (Visual) then they may have some internal dialog(NOOOO a massive spider) or external (Scream Aaaaaaaa) this in turn will trigger the feeling(Kinaesthetic) inside like fight, flight or freeze which in turn gets processed as fear by the person.  Normaly the reaction is out of proportion to the situation, for example has anyone you know ever been in an unprovoked attack by a spider or been bitten? Not many I bet !

The thing to really think about is that we are only born with 2 fears :-

  • · Fear of sudden loud noises
  • · Fear of falling

All other behaviors are learned either directly or indirectly, the amount of clients I see who say that a member of there family is scared of the same thing. They more than likely learned to react the way they do because they have seen for example their Mum screaming that there is spider in the house and to get it out. The client learnt how to respond to spiders because it what their Mum did when they were a small child and as a child they did not have any other resources to call up on.

All of this doesn’t help a person of course who has the fear, so how can hypnotherapy help fears or phobia’s?

There are lots of different methods all will aim to do the same job of helping the client to feel differently about the phobia or fear and allow the client to disassociate themselves from the feelings. The client will just not be as scared or as concerned by the fear or phobia as before. They may not want to ever hug or hold a spider but they will be able to cope with catching one and removing it or just leave it to get on with whatever spiders do on a good night out !

I use different methods depending on what I think is best for the client, sometimes the work is already done before I even use hypnosis but the hypnosis is still a great way to help the client to think differently about the fear and allow the mind to process it in a more logical way in the future and take on some new learnings to allow the client to make a change and have a more appropriate behaviour towards the problem.

If your phobia doesn’t really impact your life that much, it’s probably nothing to be concerned about. But if avoidance of the object, activity, or situation that triggers your phobia interferes with your normal functioning or keeps you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy, it’s time to seek help with someone like myself.

Contact me HERE id you need any extra support.

Regards

Adam Cowming

Website  www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

Body Language

Tags :

Category : Uncategorized

In this blog I’ll explain Body Language in a simple to understand way.

This is a very important tool that all therapist and business people should be aware of or have some form of understanding of, you’d think!

Body language means communication with the movement or position of the human body. It can be conscious – or unconscious. It is important to   remember that, although body language does give you an additional channel of communication, which sometimes contradicts the spoken word, it should be interpreted with care. For one thing, it can be affected by particular habits of the speaker. To be able to read somebody is very interesting, but it can be complicated, so watch out!

As a therapist I hope I have a general understanding but I know that I don’t know everything and it an area to which I’m looking into getting a higher level of understanding. I pride myself on my ability to be able to calibrate my client’s conscious – or unconscious body language.

The eight primary elements of body language are your face, eyes, posture, gestures, voice, movement, physical appearance and touch.

Words (the literal meaning) account for 7% of the overall message

Tone of voice accounts for 38% of the overall message

Body Language accounts for 55% of the overall message

The figure 55% comes from some research that Albert Mehrabian undertook in 1971.

The ‘Mehrabian formula’ (7%/38%/55%) was established in situations where there was incongruence between words and expression.

That is, where the words did not match the facial expression: specifically in Mehrabian’s research people tended to believe the expression they saw, not the words spoken.

Mehrabian’s model is a seminal piece of work, and it’s amazingly helpful in explaining the importance of careful and appropriate communications. Like any model, care must be exercised when transferring it to different situations. Use the basic findings and principles as a guide and an example – don’t transfer the percentages, or make direct assumptions about degrees of effectiveness, to each and every communication situation.

This is now widely used in the field of selling, where sales personnel are trained to observe and read the body language of their potential customers. Sales personnel trained to read you can now utilize this skill to read the subliminal cue exhibited by the customers to close a deal. Consequently, many companies such as insurance companies, direct-selling companies and international car-showrooms now engage body language experts.

Body Language: What It Is & How To Read It

I help out some workshops and it’s easy to tell who knows about body language and who doesn’t and the difference just pointing out little things to people can make them look at people very differently, often these workshop are not about body language but as therapists it will always be part of what we do so it good to help and pass on the skills we have to others. Some of the people who attend are not therapist so are not used to using these skills but are normally very fast at picking some of the very basic tips they get.

If you need any help, coaching or therapy contact me HERE

Regards

Adam Cowming

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

The unconscious mind

Tags :

Category : Uncategorized

Have you ever wondered about The unconscious mind?

First published July 11, 2012

This is big subject of which we haven’t really tapped into its full potential. We know that it comes from the Limbic System part of the brain which has been shown to activate on MRI scans in this area.

So what is it and what does it do?

I look at it as the programming for the body and mind which is there to protect us. It is far more powerful than the conscious part of the mind. Within the unconscious mind there are parts that do particular jobs and tasks than run the programs in our mind and bodies. As a hypnotherapist is my job to work with this part of the mind to help you the client to overcome or change the programs that you maybe running that are not working for you. Imagine the brain as big computer that will only work as well as the programs we put into it. Sometimes we program the wrong programs into our mind and the conscious then unconscious mind takes on this new behaviour.

I always use this example to people who ask about how big is the unconscious, if you were to see on a neurological perspective it doesn’t look that big compared to rest of the brain. If you put your fists together next to each other like a boxer that is about the average size of a brain.

The unconscious is far more powerful so in this case size does not matter. To get an idea I say get a golf ball and put it next to a football. The golf represents the conscious mind and the football represents the unconscious mind!

Research is still on going into this but we know for sure is that it plays a massive part in our lives every micro second of the day of our life.

Here is a bit of information on the Limbic System of the brain.

The Limbic System sometimes called the “emotional brain” or “Old Mammalian Brain” is the next part of the brain to have evolved in the more primitive mammals about 150 million years ago. This is where our emotions reside, where memory begins and where these two functions combine together to mark behaviors with positive or negative feelings. It’s where mostly unconscious value judgments are made. Information going through the Limbic System are filed under “agreeable or disagreeable”. It also plays a role in salience (what grabs your attention), spontaneity and creativity. Located in the Limbic System are:

  • The Amygdala

Its name is Latin for almond which relates to its shape. It helps in storing and classifying emotionally charged memories. It plays a large role in producing our emotions, especially fear. It’s been found to trigger responses to strong emotion such as sweaty palms, freezing, increased heart-beat/respiration and stress hormone release.

  • The Hippocampus

This guy is all about memory and a little about learning. It’s primary role is in memory formation, classifying information, long-term memory. Like the RAM in your computer it processes and stores new and temporary memory for long term storage. It’s also involved in interpreting incoming nerve signals and spatial relationships.

  • The Hypothalamus

It should be called the Hypothalamus because it does so much. It’s linked closely with the pituitary gland to control many of the body’s functions. It monitors and controls your circadian rhythms (your daily sleep/wake cycle), homeostasis (making sure your body is running smoothly), appetite, thirst, other bodily urges and also plays a role in emotions, autonomic functions and motor functions.

  • The Thalamus

The Thalamus is THE relay station in the brain. Most of the sensory signals, auditory (sound), Visual, Somatosensory (from your skin and internal organs), go through this organ on their way to other parts of the brain for processing. It also plays a function in motor control.

I hope you enjoyed my blog and thanks for reading them !

If you want any help or advice please contact me HERE

Adam Cowming

Website www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

© Copyright 2021. All Rights Reserved. Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy