Weight Management

Weight Management

Weight Management

First published November 1, 2012

This is a subject that has been covered and covered but I think some people still miss one important point about this, especially clients that I see.

It’s not about diets, exercise but the psychology……….

I prefer to use the term “Weight Management” because the term “Weight Loss” implies you have lost something and people usually want to get back something they have lost. People lose things, usually, by mistake. As long as you think of ‘losing’ weight you are making life difficult for your mind to deal with. Instead, think of “Managing” your weight.

So what happens normally?

Here is the thing, people get to a certain weight and then they hit their weight fresh hold they then diet, exercise and lose some weight for a while…… put weight on again but this time their fresh hold may slightly be more i.e. they put more weight on than the last time because they are slightly more desensitised to the extra weight before they know to do something about it!

So something happens for them so they don’t see the extra weight until it is too late and in their mind they go … Oh no!!!   This is a classic yo yo dieting strategy. My job is to help the client break this cycle and get a new positive one instead, make the client aware of what and how they are eating.

As long as the client is educated and made more aware of their eating habits they will often make the shifts and changes themselves often this is done at an unconscious level. Clients often report back to me that they can remember an event or the reason they started over eating after a session while they are back at home, this is something I don’t do in the first session but often they tell me what I need to know to help them move forward or to address in another session if they want to.

I get the client to fill in a meal diary and be totally honest with it. Some clients I found didn’t realise they ate the snacks they did between meals, what I call graze on snacks and rubbish all day still having some healthy meals, they say ” but I eat healthy and exercise but can’t shift the weight” not even being aware of all of the calorie filled snacks in-between their meals.

Some client are so used to big portions that they think it normal to have a plate piled high with food, but if someone who hasn’t got a weight issue dished up a portion to them they would think it was not enough but the fact is it would be a normal meal size.

There is no big mystery to weight management but at the same time it is big business for the clubs and they make a lot of money from seeing the same people go to the meeting week in week out. They not doubt help people and offer a valuable service but if they can’t get a person’s psychology right then they will keep repeating the old patterns time and time again year after year.

Yes I run a business also but I see clients for around 3 to 4 sessions for this and give them enough tools to deal with the problem for life, I don’t want to see them for months on end because that would mean in my eyes I haven’t done my job correctly by offering a duty of care to my clients by helping them make the shift in their life they need to in order to keep the weight off .

If you are interested in one to one help then I provide Weight Loss Hypnotherapy in Coventry.

Regard

Adam

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Fears and Phobia’s

 

Fears and Phobia’s

First published on October 18, 2012

A fear or phobia is an intense fear of something that, in reality, poses little or no actual danger. Common phobias and fears include closed-in places, heights, highway driving, flying insects, snakes, and needles. However, we can develop phobias of virtually anything.

If you have a phobia, you probably realize that your fear is unreasonable, yet you still can’t control your feelings. Just thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious. And when you’re actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror can be automatic and overwhelming.

So what is really going on?

I will use spiders as an example simply because it’s that time of year when I start to get more spider phobia phone calls as they start to come in for in colder months.

First people will see a spider (Visual) then they may have some internal dialog(NOOOO a massive spider) or external (Scream Aaaaaaaa) this in turn will trigger the feeling(Kinaesthetic) inside like fight, flight or freeze which in turn gets processed as fear by the person.  Normaly the reaction is out of proportion to the situation, for example has anyone you know ever been in an unprovoked attack by a spider or been bitten? Not many I bet !

The thing to really think about is that we are only born with 2 fears :-

  • · Fear of sudden loud noises
  • · Fear of falling

All other behaviors are learned either directly or indirectly, the amount of clients I see who say that a member of there family is scared of the same thing. They more than likely learned to react the way they do because they have seen for example their Mum screaming that there is spider in the house and to get it out. The client learnt how to respond to spiders because it what their Mum did when they were a small child and as a child they did not have any other resources to call up on.

All of this doesn’t help a person of course who has the fear, so how can hypnotherapy help.

There are lots of different methods all will aim to do the same job of helping the client to feel differently about the phobia or fear and allow the client to disassociate themselves from the feelings. The client will just not be as scared or as concerned by the fear or phobia as before. They may not want to ever hug or hold a spider but they will be able to cope with catching one and removing it or just leave it to get on with whatever spiders do on a good night out !

I use different methods depending on what I think is best for the client, sometimes the work is already done before I even use hypnosis but the hypnosis is still a great way to help the client to think differently about the fear and allow the mind to process it in a more logical way in the future and take on some new learnings to allow the client to make a change and have a more appropriate behaviour towards the problem.

If your phobia doesn’t really impact your life that much, it’s probably nothing to be concerned about. But if avoidance of the object, activity, or situation that triggers your phobia interferes with your normal functioning or keeps you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy, it’s time to seek help with someone like myself.

Regards

Adam Cowming

Website  www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Relax

Relax

First published on August 30, 2012

Hello again,

Sorry for the delay with this blog but i’ve been very busy with my therapy business plus I’ve had a holiday as well. Enjoy.

With modern lives so busy and people rushing around so much these days I’m finding increasing numbers of clients coming to see me because of stress and stress/anxiety related issues such as IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), so what the answer?

Learning to slow down a bit will help, as well as other things such things as relaxation techniques. People just don’t seem to take any time for themselves, then wonder why they are tired and feeling washed out. The body and mind needed a certain amount of time to rest and relax as well apart from sleep.

I tell clients to take 10 to 15 minutes a day to learn to relax and take time out for themselves. It is important not to fall asleep during this time out so the body learns it can relax without falling to sleep. Try this easy exercise.

Find somewhere comfortable where you will not be disturbed during the exercise, if necessary tell who you live with family etc than you don’t want to be disturbed and to be considerate to your needs. Lie down or sit in a comfy chair, place your hands on your lower stomach. Breathe in through your nose so that your stomach rises, this mean than you will be breathing from the bottom of the lungs not the top. Hold the breath for a couple of seconds then slowly breathe out. Repeat these 3 or 4 times then allow your breathing to go back to normal. Concentrate on different parts of the body allowing these to relax one by one starting with the top of your head and working all the way down to the tips of your toes. Image you are in a wonderfully relaxing a safe place, I like to think of myself lying on a beach sunbathing. Just allow yourself 10 to 15 minutes of relaxing this way every day making part of your lifestyle. Try not to fall asleep as relaxation is different to sleep so you don’t want to associate relaxing with going to sleep although you may find it hard not to drop off at first.

Learn to relax this way is very beneficial to mental health and can help with a whole range of issues even helping people out of depression, helping with anxiety and stress. You can even do a mini relaxation for a few minutes if you not got 15 minutes, a little is better than nothing.

This is a wonderfully easy and powerful exercise that anyone can do at home or even in their lunch break at work.

Ask yourself are you worth 15 minutes a day?

Get my free “Stress Buster” Mp3 audio here

Adam Cowming

Website  www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


My Journey

My Journey

First Published August 1, 2012

Hi and welcome to my blog again.

This time around I thought I would do something slightly different than the other blogs.

I get many people who seem to ask me the same question and it always is along the same lines when they hear I’m a hypnotherapist “How did you get into that then?”

In this blog I’m attaching a video answering all of those questions.

I made the video a while ago but didn’t really do anything with it.

So here it is, just be aware there is a bit promoting some courses on it but that not to near the end. I did the video for something else and never used it that why it’s on there.

Thanks for watching

Adam Cowming

Website www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Taking Action

Taking Action

First published on June 27, 2012

There a lot of people in the self-help industry that say the magic words if you want something “Take massive action” to get it. Now as someone who coaches people how to have better lives and improve themselves I agree with this to a certain level. People also say nothing is impossible, I disagree.

My Dad is 70 years old, now would he be able to become an astronaut? The answer is no! If he wanted he could pay to go up on a special aeroplane and experience 0 gravity or even go on one of the flights to the edge of the earth’s atmosphere and that would be pretty close for a civilian. To become a real astronaut he would have to pass many tests set by NASA for example then spend some length of time in space so what is my point.

Take action but make sure that your goals are realistic and achievable! When a client asks me to help we sit down together and draw up a plan of action. Here is how I do that

What do you want to change? (The now)

What do you want to achieve? (Future Goal)

How are we going to get there? (Setting the plan)

When setting a plan it is important to takes steps every day to help achieve the end goal. Break it down into small tasks and set your end goal in a realistic time frame. Small steps even if they seem silly are still a step in the right direction. It is important to research your goal and find out as much as you can beforehand so you will have the right information to hand.

Set daily or weekly goals and don’t set yourself too much at once to do. Remember you may have a family to consider and to make time for as well. Fit your goal around your life and don’t make the goals your life but a part of it. Remember that there may be bumps in the road and it may not go as planned all of the time but accept this as part of the process.

I have recently set myself a goal of becoming a full time hypnotherapist, up until now I’ve have been ticking along seeing clients on a part time basis. So what have I been doing to ensure this happens?

I first of all ordered 5000 leaflets and delivered them myself and with help from my family. A lot of people will say leaflets are  a waste of time and no one looks at them, well from the phone calls and interest I’ve had I would say they are wrong ! How do people know about my business if they have never heard of me? I’ve done about 6 miles of small steps every day! lol

I have invested in having an up to date website built by a professional web designer, check it out for yourself.  www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk

I have also had a meeting at a local pharmacy which wanted a hypnotherapist to work in the shop, so I’ve hired the room from them and they book in the clients for me and do all of the marketing within the shop, this will hopefully lead to me working in their other shop as well. All of this because they saw one of my leaflets and I went into see him on the same day and had a meeting.

I haven’t done anything incredible or amazing all I have done is follow my own advice that I give to clients. Little steps but the results are now coming though with an increase of clients and local awareness of my business. I set myself 2 hours a day to do leaflet drops and did them all within 10 days. I also approached local businesses and put my leaflet in their shops, no one said no they were all happy to help promote a local business.

Life will not come to you, we have to go out and get what we want. If you want to achieve something in life but find yourself sitting on your butt all day complaining how the world is unfair and how you never get a break, ask yourself what have YOU done today to help yourself so far???

Take action but do it in a realistic way!!!!!!

Thanks for reading my blog.

Adam Cowming

Website www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Personality Types

Personality Types

When I have clients come to see me they sometimes use phrases such as; “part of me wants X the other part of me wants Y”. This is what we call parts conflict.

So what do they mean and how do I as a therapist explain what is going on in their minds in an easy to understand down to earth format?

I tend to use the Transactional Analysis model created by Canadian-born US psychiatrist, Eric Berne. Berne devised the concept of ego states to help explain how we are made up, and how we relate to others. They categorise the ways we think, feel and behave and are called Parent, Adult, and Child. Each ego state is given a capital letter to denote the difference between actual parents, adults and children.

Parent (“exteropsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent’s actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.

Parent has 2 parts to this personality type

Nurturing – Nurturing (positive) and Spoiling (negative).

Critical – Structuring (positive) and Controlling (negative).

Physical – angry or impatient body-language and expressions, finger-pointing, patronising gestures. Sympathetic expressions, hugging, stroking.

Verbal – always, never, for once and for all, judgmental words, critical words, patronising language, posturing language. Soft, supportive voice and wording.

N.B. Beware of cultural differences in body-language that may appear ‘Parental’.

Adult (“neopsyche”): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that could affect its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA.

Adult remains as a single entity, representing an ‘accounting’ function or mode, which can draw on the resources of both Parent and Child.

While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.

Physical – attentive, interested, straight-forward, tilted head, non-threatening and non-threatened.

Verbal – why, what, how, who, where and when, how much, in what way, comparative expressions, reasoned statements, true, false, probably, possibly, I think, I realise, I see, I believe, in my opinion.

Child (“archaeopsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.

Child also has 2 parts to this personality type

Adapted – Co-operative (positive) and Compliant/Resistant (negative).

Free – Spontaneous (positive) and Immature (negative).

Physical – emotionally sad expressions, despair, temper tantrums, whining voice, rolling eyes, shrugging shoulders, teasing, delight, laughter, speaking behind hand, raising hand to speak, squirming and giggling.

Verbal – baby talk, I wish, I dunno, I want, I’m gonna, I don’t care, oh no, not again, things never go right for me, worst day of my life, bigger, biggest, best, many superlatives, words to impress.

So here is what I sometimes say to the client that these parts clash for example part of them says go and have fun

(Free Child) and other part of them says they better not do that and stay at home(Critical Parent).

I find that people who tend to listen to their “Critical Parent” too much sometimes have a lot of negative internal dialogue in their mind. Now we all have this critical side and it is an important part of us that can protect us but it can also overwhelm people as well and can be very hard to override for the client. Other people have too much “Free Child” i.e. they go and do things without thinking of the consequences at all and this can also be as bad. It is all about getting the balance right.

People who drink too much or take drugs (addicts and functioning addicts) are doing so to override the critical parent and get into the free child state, they are shutting out that critical voice/memories that may have in the past reminded them of past experiences or overly critical voices they would rather not remember.

I know I have done things many years ago in the past that when I’ve had a beer too many and I was in the free child state. I did things I wouldn’t normally do, like walk home with a traffic cone on my head. In the morning my critical parent kicked in and I have laid there in bed with a bad head slightly embarrassed thinking, why I did I do that? At the time I was having fun with my friends but in the morning I thought I was a bit silly.

If you would like to read more about this subject I would recommend you read Eric Berne’s first book called “Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy”, “I’m OK You’re OK” by Thomas A. Harris and also “Games People Play” again by Eric Berne, they can be hard going for those of you without a background in Psychotherapy but they explain things in much more depth.

Thanks for reading my blog.

Adam Cowming

Website www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


Communication

Communication

May 31, 2012

Communication is an important if not the most important thing I do in my job as a therapist, there are things I hear someone say  that without my training I probably wouldn’t have  been aware of  before hand. So I thought I would tell you about them and then you can listen to people and become a better communicator.

Is there someone who you just don’t seem to click with or get on with but you wish you did?

Have you even thought that your language maybe slightly different, that they may speak using  different words to you? Yes everyone uses different words but did you know that people use Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic phrases in their everyday language and that they probably don’t even know it either?

This is what we call “Sub-Modalities in Language”, have you ever heard of this before?

Here are some examples of the language:

Visual

See, Look, View, Show, Clear, Appear, Focussed.

“You never see what I am saying to you”

Auditory

Hear, Listen, Tune in, All ears, Be heard, Rings a bell, Sound, Silence

“I hear what you are saying”

Kinaesthetic

Feel, Touch, Catch on, Hard, Get hold of, Tap into, Turn around, Unfeeling

“I feel you don’t understand me”

People are generally one of the above in their main language but will and can use a bit of everything, but as you listen to the person you will hear which they mainly use, try it!

I also listen out for the words I, Me, Self, You?

Here is an example of what I mean “I hate myself”, so if we look at that statement said “I” being the person hates “self”. I hates self so who is I and who is self?

There a lots of different thing going on with that statement but without going to deep I will leave to think about it for now.

We all use Metaphor every day in our language and some people don’t even realise they are! Are you one of those people? I know I used them but wasn’t sure why?

Originally, metaphor was a Greek word meaning “transfer”. The Greek etymology is from meta, implying “a change” and pherein meaning “to bear, or carry”. Thus, the word metaphor itself has a metaphorical meaning in English, “a transfer of meaning from one thing to another”.  So the word metaphor is a metaphor within itself.

Amusingly, in Modern Greek the word metaphor is used to refer to a cart or trolley; thus visitors to Greek airports will find themselves using metaphors to carry their luggage.

We all use them but because we don’t notice, this means we use them unconsciously this is why understanding how to use metaphor is so important as a therapist. I went on a workshop with Andrew T Austin called Metaphors of Movement which really opened my ears to another form of communication that is so powerful and a great tool to use.

With this tool I can help the client explore the metaphor and help them to solve the problem in an easy and powerful way.

What sort of metaphor can a client use?  Here is a few  examples “I feel like I’m in a big hole”, “I can’t seem to move forward”,” It’s like I’m banging my head against a wall”, “ I just can’t get over it”, so I have learned how to engage the client at a physiological and neurological level

Here is how it works

Example of the problem = What happens

Emotional response to the problem = How we feel about what happens

The consequences on the problem = The effect of what happens

The diagnosis of the problem = What we call it

I often find after exploring the metaphor more with the client they begin to see the problem in a different way and after some helping and suggestions the client can see the solution themselves. I never put words into the clients experience but suggest various phrases relevant to the clients metaphor.

I love doing this kind of therapy because the result are often very profound and powerful in helping the client move on with their life or a situation that has in some way held them back .

I hope you enjoyed reading this and it has helped you to understand the verbal communication we all use every day, when we start to listen more closely then we can really hear what the other person may or may not be saying.

If would like to learn these skills for yourself then I would advise anyone to go where I went. Nick Davies owns and runs the Warwickshire School of Hypnotherapy and is an excellent trainer. www.WSOH.co.uk

Thank you  for reading my blog.

Adam Cowming

blhypno@yahoo.co.uk

www.blhypnotherapy.co.uk


The Phantom Limb

The Phantom Limb

First publish on March 17, 2012

Hi, my name is Adam Cowming and I’m a fully qualified hypnotherapist and this is my blog to tell you about some of the cases I have seen and people I’ve helped. I hope it will help other therapists and people who are interested in the power of the mind.

My Dads cousin Ken has been suffering from Phantom limb pain and asked for my help so of course being family I said yes.  So what is a Phantom limb? A phantom limb is the result of a limb that has been amputated. The person still feels the limb and in this case, pain in the limb. It’s important to first find if the (Phantom) limb is O.K. and not for example twisted in an odd position. If it is mirror therapy can be very effective in some cases. Mirror therapy has been widely used in the USA to great affect but still not so well know in the U.K with results being disappointing but I believe more research is being done by V. S. Ramachandran and D. Rogers-Ramachandran who are brilliant neurologists. Also the results are based on information Ken was told by the doctors in NHS cases and not private practices. The more we understand the better the science, theory and  technique will develop.

Here is a link to a series of lectures on BBC Radio 4 on the subject

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00ghvck

Ken had some pain in his limb and wanted to try hypnotherapy.

Here is how the session went. I’ve only outlined the important parts of the session to make it easier to read.

I first did a very gentle induction and deepener to relax Ken and also to allow the unconscious part of his mind to come forward. I also set up a safe anchor in case of any abreaction. I decided to use a technique called parts therapy to start with.  Parts therapy basically allows me to speak direct to the part of the unconscious mind that controls the limb. I set up a signal on each hand, a finger for yes and a finger for no (ideo – motor finger signals), so the unconscious part of the mind could communicate with me by lifting or moving the fingers. Always allow the mind to choose which and fingers to use, never force your will on it.

I asked the “Part” if it knew the leg had been amputated and was no longer there, it moved the finger for no. This what I hoped would happen as my thoughts on it were that maybe the “Part” was still doing its job because the old limb had  lost the blood circulation, so I think it may be trying to heal the leg as it was before it was amputated and needed updating to acknowledge the limb has gone and give the part a new job. I think the part maybe still doing its job because the old limb had a blood clot, so I think it may be trying to heal the leg as it was before it was amputated and needs updating to acknowledge the limb has gone and give the part a new job

I then asked if it would like some new information I had for in concerning the limb, it signalled yes. I told the part the leg was now missing and that if it would like to continue to help Ken I have a more important job for it to do, again it signalled yes it was happy to take on this new job.

I first wanted the “Part” to see the limb had gone. I had asked Ken to take his prosthetic leg off before the start of the session. I told the part that I was going to count to 3 and on 3 I want it to open Ken’s eyes and see that the limb had been amputated and was not longer there. So on 3 Ken opened his eyes and I asked the part to look to where the leg had been amputated, I then asked for the part to close the eyes and take on this new information. I asked if the part now understood the leg had gone and again it said yes.

Now in hypnosis we call it fractionation when you get the person to open their eyes then to close them and the reason for this is person goes deeper into hypnosis but that is not what happened to Ken as the he didn’t consciously open his eyes but the unconscious “Part” did and he was not aware of that during or after the session and was surprised when I explained what had happened. After Ken closed his eyes I again asked the “Part” if it saw the leg had gone and now understood that there was no need for any pain in a leg that wasn’t there. It signaled yes again.

The idea to open the eyes had come from a discussion I had with Nick Davies who trained me to be a hypnotherapist (www.wsoh.co.uk) and we both thought it was a great idea if not a little different, we were both unsure if it would work but after the session Ken said he didn’t have any knowledge of his eyes opening during the session. So the part saw the missing leg not the conscious mind of Ken, it was a great move!!!

I then gave the part a new job of stopping any future pain to the phantom limb to which the part said it was happy to take on this new role, again also saying that if the body needs Ken to look at the leg that is still there and healthy to let him know because pain is the bodies natural signal that something is wrong so I don’t want to stop that happening. It also agreed to this.

I then told Ken I was going to lift his arm out in front of him (arm catalepsy) and for the arm to support itself. I then asked the unconscious part to go and update itself with all the new information and when it had successfully done this to allow the arm to drop nice and gently back into Ken’s lap, this took around about 30 seconds.

I then did some basic pain relieve with him and anchored a imaginary pain controller on his hand by squeezing his thumb and finger together so his body would release a natural and safe dose of pain relief. I also told him that to have this controller was a great responsibility not to be miss used and only to be used when it is necessary .

I then bought Ken out of trance, he said he felt wonderfully relax and that he know the limb somehow felt different.

I advised Ken to now go back to his GP and explain that he had under gone a Hypnotherapy session using the “Parts Therapy Technique” and that we were confident the brain has now all the new information it needs. I have also agreed to be contacted by the GP if she has any questions about the session. Ken said he now wanted to reduce the pain killers he was on WITH the GP advice and guidance to see if the pain had gone. I will wait for the results from Ken and keep you updated to his progress on this journey but from a personal point of view I am confident that I have helped Ken remove all of the problems he had.

I hope you enjoyed and learnt a little from this post and I will continue to write and tell you about the interesting cases and also about the different therapies I use for different things

I was waiting before writing this to find out how effective the session has been for Ken and I’m please to report the following that Ken is very please with the progress so far.

Note from Ken “Pleased to report definitely some improvement this week with the phantom problem so will see what happens next week and will let you know”

To book an appointment please go HERE

Adam Cowming CPNLP,CMH ,HPD

Beautiful Life Hypnotherapy